A
female
age
36-40,
*rishfaerie86
writes:I'm afraid my fiancee is or soon will be cheating on me. I'm 4 months pregnant and I've let myself go a bit because of it. I've found emails of him emailing craigslist girls saying he wants to chat and he's looking for a friend AND lover. He even sent a pic of me and him saying I was his sister. He says he wasn't serious and just did it because I talked to a guy over the summer about our relationship problems online when he was away. But I never would go to the extreme he's gone to! I saw a pic of the girl and she was gorgeous and girls are always tryin to get w him. His exfriend said he took my car to meet a girl once too but Idk if that's true. I am pregnant and I have no where else to go so I can't leave him! What should I do? :-(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2010): First things first, start taking better care of yourself. You'll feel better for starters! Get some new clothes, get your hair done etc. Show him what he's been missing.
As for the possible cheating, you need to talk to him and put a stop to it NOW! You did nothing wrong in looking for a friend to talk to about your relationship. He's not talking about your relationship with other girls, clearly. Tell him it's not an acceptable form of behaviour, and if he wants to see other girls, he shouldn't have got you pregnant!
Build a life for yourself as an independent woman: go out with your friends and family. Get a job, even just part time, so you have your own income if you don't already. Build up a fund of what I like to call 'fuck you' money. Then, if things get worse, you say 'fuck you', and walk away. You have the money now to rent your own place and start again with your son or daughter. Maybe even go home to family if you can, and get your head straightened out.
You don't need this guy, and you haven't really said how you feel about him. Can you see yourself with him forever? And if so, would YOU be happy? Don't let the fact that you'll be a single mom put you off hunni... There's plenty of other guys out there who will treat you better, and treat your child like their own.
Just some food for thought, I hope I helped a little!
Best of luck to you... Remember, hold your head high and stay strong!
A
female
reader, meg2989 +, writes (19 January 2010):
 First things first confront him about it. Tell him that what he's doing is hurting you, because frankly it is! You are pregnant with his child, and he is out talking to other women, thats just not right! Tell him you would like him to stop and instead spend more time with you. If he really loves you and wants to be with you, he'll stop. If he doesn't stop however, then I would suggest you discontinue the relationship, but live more as roomates, since you don't seem to have anywhere else to turn. You would also have to both agree on terms when it comes to the child, like what to do before the baby comes and after its born, finances, providing for the baby, etc. This is a difficult alternative I realize, but you don't deserve to be treated the way he's treating you now. Best wishes to you, I really hope he stops this ridiculous behavior and can man up and be there for you and baby. Good luck honey. 3
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