A
female
age
41-50,
*eretoy
writes:I have been married for 11 years and waited it seems like an eternity to get pregnant. My husband and I have had our problems, but I always thought he would be a little different when I got pregnant. Please tell me if I am being ridiculous with my emotions. I am 17 weeks pregnant and ever since I got pregnant at least once a week my husband goes out to strip clubs and leaves me alone. If not strip clubs other clubs and I have no idea what he is doing there. I have ask that he not do that knowing I can't or actually shouldnt be going because all of the cigarette smoke and he might go a week without going but the following week he is right there again. I had a talk with him and discussed me moving home, we are stationed in Japan, for the remainder of the time he is stationed here and he says sure go ahead and when I start planning it he tells me to stop tripping and that I'm not going home. He also looks at porn daily our sex life hasn't suffered, but it makes me feel bad that he does these things and doenst even try to cover it up. I am so unhappy right now but I dont want to take the oppotunity away from him to see the birth of his child and to possibly be a good father. Any ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
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female
reader, PixiePie  +, writes (1 November 2009):
 right:
first off, i can understand it completely but there is no point thinking a man will change when you have a baby, it doesn't save relationships and a man doesn't have the life changing experience of carrying the child and loving it etc.
second, have you spoken to your man about this all? sit him down and calmly and adultly explain to him that it is time he grew up and became a family man. if he can't then unfortunately you will have to leave him. it is no place for a baby to grow up around porn and a dad who goes out to strip clubs rather than being there as a father.
if you do leave him, i know you are worried about missing the chance of him being a good dad. but he has to prove that to you by being there, and he isn't at the moment. move but stay close, he can start acting like a dad and if he realises what he's missing then he and you can reconcile, if not then its his loss, and trust me it will be.
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