A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone,I have been with my bf for 4 years and now and I'm pregnant and we are planning to get married asap but my family don't know abut my pregnancy and they keep on delaying everything. I come from a muslim background and my bf has converted to islam so plz dont judge because everyone does make a mistake.How can I tell my family that we cant wait anymore??plz help
View related questions:
muslim Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2013): I would like to thank everyone for their answers and help. i just wana share something with you guys i am going with my mum and boyfriend tomorrow to see an Imam to speak to us and give us abit of advice etc but there is one more thing i was planning to tell my elder sister about the pregnancy do you think i should or wait till tomorrow?
Thank you again
A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (17 April 2013):
Im not sure of my advice will be helpful but is there a way you could possibly tell them that you are in love with your boyfriend and that you simply really want to get married soon? or like someone else suggested, is there someone you could trust to convince them to bring the wedding forward? all this depends on how strict they are of course, only you know how they will/would react. another suggestion is like someone else said, to get married then announce it but of course they might be upset that you went ahead without their permission/approval.
I understand you are in a very difficult situation, but it is important to try to stay calm while you resolve this in whatever way you can.
I wish you the best of luck xx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2013): It doesn't matter how you tell them OP just as long as you do it as soon as possible so they can get the marriage done quickly.
Look, you know who you can and can't trust in your family. You know their reaction to this is going to be severe, the best chance you have of resolving this is by talking to them. This is not a judgement OP but you felt you were mature enough to risk getting pregnant by going against your faith, then you have to be mature enough to deal with the consequences of that.
Just be the adult you are and talk to them.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2013): Okay, how religoius is your family?I am fully aware of how big and elaborate muslim engagements and weddings are (my brother converted because she was muslim).You can't hold off any longer, and you will just have to sit down with them and lay it all on the table.Are you scared of your family's reaction and consequence, or will you be shunned by the family and extended family?This is a tough one. My hope for you is that they are not too traditional/conservative and you can find a way to work it out. When it comes down to it, it's about the love you have for each other and the child you are bringing into the world because of your love, but I realize it's not that simple for you. Best of luck with this. It's should be a joyous milestone in your life, not a stressful one.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2013): Is there a close relative with authority in the family who you think will be more understanding? They could put pressure to fast track the wedding if you tell them, without them revealing to everyone else what's going on.
good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (15 April 2013):
 Hi, why dont you just have a small private ceremony and announce to your family you are married. It would be less embarassing for them than to say their daughter is pregnant outside marriage.
Also you can then have a huge reception. All you need tell your parents that you were afraid they will just keep puting it off.
I suspect this delay tactic was as a result of them not being 100% happy with your choice of BF.
Any way goodluck and hope things go well with the family.
...............................
|
