A
female
age
30-35,
*oping_Mother
writes:Hi, I want to know... I have been trying to conceive for 4 months... I have followed the ovulation and fertility rules and still no positive, am i doing something wrong... my partner's sperm flows out sometimes... is that the reason? what am i doing wrong?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2010): Men make far too much sperm than is needed to do the job, so ejaculate flowing out is perfectly normal (and the basis for "who sleeps in the wet spot" jokes).A year is regarded as about right before you need to worry. A major issue when trying to conceive is avoiding sucking all the joy out of sex. Couples have sex for important reasons other than reproduction and if you break those you'll probably break your relationship. For that reason it may be worthwhile neglecting some of the medically-oriented advice if it gets in the way of fun and togetherness.For example, you can imagine how a man might feel being ordered to have sex on your high-probability days and then, one day when he feels the vibe, being rejected because you aren't in the mood.You both need to work at making this fun and light and not a drama (if only because if you do end up doing IVF, then it won't be any of those things and you don't want your relationship to be under stress already). How you go about that varies by couple, only you two can work out what works for the two of you.One couple role played (dog and bitch, pirate and captive, etc. On the "day" there would be a big sign above their bed saying something like "arrgh me hearty" or whatever the theme was).Another had "compensation sex" where if he had to service her despite feeling the vibe, then she would service him some other time (he told me he really got off on the power of that so didn't mind making the "downpayment" at all and he misses it these days).Another couple didn't treat it like the normal sex at all -- they didn't want to confuse the usual emotion-laden sex with this task oriented sex. She kept her clothes on, said "do me" and bent over the end of the sofa, no foreplay, no kissing.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): Your aren't doing anything wrong, ignore the fertility and ovulation rules and have sex, without protection, and you will get pregnant.
However, it may take a year, although it frequently takes a lot less time.
Have fun, and don't try to force this to a time frame, it's just to unpredictable.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (19 October 2010):
 No your not, and I'm going through the nightmares of trying to conceive. Supposed to be an exciting time trying to have a baby with your loved one, not so much. You notice pregnant woman more so than often, everyone of your friends seems to be pregnant with their first some their second, going to baby showers depresses you, and when you start to show symptoms of a pregnancy you get so excited go to take a pregnancy test. Then your upset because you got your period and another negative to add to the pile.
-it takes up to a year to conceive, if you're empty handed after that then I would make an appointment to see your gyno and discuss fertility drugs. (If that's an option for you)
-Also, your gyno can tell the exact date your ovulating through ultrasound..so I would go a week after your period. You know that you ovulate anywhere from 7-14 after the last day of your period. I've found mine varies due to stress. Some women even ovulate the day after their period, so trying to pinpoint that time can be tricky.
-it couldn't hurt for both of you to get your fertility tested.
-Don't use KY Jelly, Astroglide, and spit for lube..the pH levels are off which can slow down the sperm and kill them off. I heard a lube called Pre Seed has rave reviews, you can purchase it only online.
- At times I don't have sex with my husband and wait till after my period so I know that his sperm is banked up..the more you have sex, the more he's shooting blanks.
And every trying to conceive myth is true unless I prove it otherwise..We have been trying for 4 months too and nothing. It's so easy to get frustrated and I swear if I hear one more person say "It will happen when it happens" I'm going to wring their neck. But baby dust to you, and I hope you too get what you want too!
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A
female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (19 October 2010):
 I know a lot about TTC, I can give you a few facts and tips;
- It takes a normal fertile couple up to a year to conceive
- For 2 months before TTC ad during, neither of you should be drinking caffeine, alcohol, taking drugs or smoking. (this is essential for healthy energetic sperm)
- Both get plenty of exercise.
- Eat lots of protein and green veg.
- It is normal for semen to flow out. To help the sperm get through the cervix, prop your hips up under 2 pillows so it is the highest part of your body for 20 minutes.
- Enjoy TTC, make sex exciting and fun for both of you. Remember that you are TTC because you love each other :-)
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A
female
reader, LilPixie +, writes (19 October 2010):
 I know it can be frustrating if you're trying to get pregnant and it doesn't work.
Dont worry about it too much after 4 months, it can take up to a year before being successful, which is completely normal and nothing to worry about, if it takes longer than this, then you and your partner shoud get checked.
It's recommended to have sex every 2-3 days when trying to get pregnant... Having sex everyday may seem like you'll have a better chance of getting pregnant because you're doing it more often, but if you only do it every couple of days, your partner will have a better sperm count as his body will have had time to produce more sperm...
Missionary and doggy are the best positions for your partner to ejaculate as he'll be penetrating you deeper than most other positions which means that the sperm have less to travel. I've also heard that putting a pillow under your hips can help, something to do with gravity...
Try to avoid stress as this can make getting pregnant harder - the same way it can cause delay in periods - this includes worrying about getting pregnant.
I hope this helps and I hope that it works out for you soon.
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