A
female
age
26-29,
*uperboredtoday
writes:Okay let's see so I dated this guy for about 6 months and we broke up 3 weeks ago due to the fact that he didn't trust me and always thought I was cheating on him and it just put a huge strain on our relationship so we ended it. Two days ago I went to the doctors for depo shot that I have to take 3 months and in never late on it however it turned out I am five weeks pregnant. The doctor did say it is highly unlikely that I will be able to carry this baby to full term due to my age and the fact that I am on the depo shot and that it could cause health problems this and the fact that I am 19 and just started my first year of university and am under a lot stress makes me feel like I shouldn't tell my ex that I'm pregnant because there could not be a baby in a month. But I also feel bad because my ex is 39 and has never had kids and wants them so badly however if I do lose the baby it could hurt him even worse than if he never finds out. I'm so confused on if I should tell him or not
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broke up, my ex, university Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2016): Above all else - DO NOT expect a child to make this guy into a better BF than he was before. It rarely ever happens that way and even less often when the guy is already that age.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (4 September 2016):
 I would not rush out to tell him just yet.
1. There is no point in telling him if you're going to have an abortion and he doesn't get a vote. That's just cruel.
2. There is no point in telling him too soon if you're hoping to keep this child but the pregnancy is uncertain.
My advice is, if you're planning to try and keep this baby, wait until the pregnancy is more stable and likely to go full term.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (3 September 2016):
 Is abortion something you're considering? If not, you need to. This baby could very well be born. Are you ready, emotionally and financially, to be a single mum?
If you choose to go ahead with the pregnancy, then you need to tell him. If the baby is born, you can be a single mum with joint custody, a single mum with him having visitation and you getting child support, a single mum with child support or giving up the baby for adoption.
If you're planning on letting the pregnancy continue, you need to let him know.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2016): In my opinion there is one sure thing you must do in this situation and that is you must tell your ex about the pregnancy, after that you two can decide what to do.
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (3 September 2016):
This is a very painful choice to make to tell him or not,considering your health problems and stress.However it is most important that you go back to you doctor that you are attending,as he know you on a personal level and is aware of all your problems,and sit down and ask him for help on this choice.Its difficult at any stage not to be able to carry a baby.So you will need all the help before and after this situation.I understand about the depo shot,so i hope you will get all the help one needs in a situation like this.Kind regards NORA B.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (3 September 2016):
 Never mind your ex. Your first priority is to yourself and the baby you are currently carrying. Your relationship with your ex sounds a non-starter. Trust me, he will not improve just because there is a baby involved.
You need to decide whether you want to keep this baby. Given that doctors are wrong all the time, and nobody can predict what will happen, are you prepared for the very real possibility that you will carry this baby to term? What then?
Once you have decided what YOU want, then you can involve your ex. Do you have family and friends you can confide in? You need their support at this time.
Good luck.
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