A
female
age
36-40,
*opazapella
writes:Me and my boyfriend have had a lot of problems, sexualy speaking, over the last year. It started when I was pregnant although we assumed once I'd had the baby we'd be able to go back to normal eventually. We've had a lot of seperate issues. Obviously when I was pregant, I found it very uncomfortable and the bigger I got the harder it was for us to find a comforatable position. When I had my baby, I had a tear, inside and outside, and had to have stitches. For a while I could barely sit down nevermind anything else. I asked him if we could delay sex for at least a month and he agreed, reluctantly. Even when that month had gone past, I still felt very bruised so we left it a bit longer. By about three months we had been trying on a weekly basis but I was finding it very difficult. It felt very tender still. I went to the doctors and they said that I was completely healed and that it must be in my head. I tried to relax but struggled for several more months. I found I was very dry and tense so we started using a lubricant which made it a bit easier. It has been a year since I had my baby now and I know that I am back to norrmal (although still a bit dry). Unfortunately my boyfriend is mow the one with issues. He has been suffering with premature ejaculation for a while now. We've tried a few thing - special condoms, techniques we've read up on the internet but nothing seems to work and I'm always left feeling very unsatisfied. I know he feels bad about it and I'm sure that it is as frustrating for him as it is for me. Although this has been going on for several months he won't go to the doctors. He keeps saying hes going to go but then ducking out of it. I'm sure he finds his situation embarrassing, and I feel bad for him for it but I don't know what else I can do. I've offered to go to the doctors with him, to book an appointment myself but he isn't interested and the more time passes the more frustrating this is for me. A couple of times at the end of sex I have actually burst into tears, I felt so frustrated. Maybe I shouldn't be so selfish but I find it quite annoying after the amount of times I've been to the doctors in the past year trying to sort myself out for him. But he won't go for me... How can I convince my boyfriend to see a professional about this? Alternatively, if anyone could offer any other advice re premature ejaculation solutions, that would be much appreciated.
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male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (13 January 2011):
 It sounds like you've done a lot of the standard practices: lubes, rubbers, and exercises. Some guys just have a problem with. He's young enough to be able to do it twice so the anonymous reader does have a point. He could also pleasure you orally first and then finish himself up in the normal way, that way you both reach orgasm. Also you may want to consider extending foreplay a bit longer. If a guy gets "hard" and puts it inside you right away, there is a better chance that he'll go very quickly. However, if you extend foreplay a bit longer, it might help. Finally, the only way you can make him see a doctor is by acting being there when he makes the appointment (assuming he gets that far). Otherwise you really can't force it on him to go. I'd talk to him and explain your dissatisfaction and urge him to see a doctor. There are treatments available.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): Ask him to jerk off earlier in the day? My boyfriend has the same issue, but it's understood that we do it twice, round two being the main course.
Good luck.
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