A
female
age
36-40,
*arie-Jane
writes:Ok, so, a few weeks ago a guy started talking to me on msn asking if we knew each other. I then realsied that I had added him a few months back but deleted him as I didn't actually know the guy. However, he explained that he doesn't use msn very often, which is why he was wondering who I was (probably forgetting that he added me). Anyway, we started chatting and realised that he have SO much in common. It turns out that he and I were both born in Germany ( and both of our dad's were in the Army) and were both born in the same year of the same month, leaving 12 days between us( him being the eldest). What's even more weird is that he was born only 4 hrs from where I was born. Also, we got chatting about tarot and other spiritual stuff that he was getting into, which I am already into. We were talking about tarot and I told him about a tarot reading I did the day before he started talking to me which transgressed that I would find love on foreign soil.(Now, I generally only use tarot etc.. as a guide and dont follow readings word for word--but still!...) I also experience ESP (Extra-sensory perception) and was sure that I had seen him in a dream. Then he tells me that he also experiences similar stuff too. I'm not sure what to make of it.The problem I have is that we both get on really well,(online) and he has said that he fancies me and wants to take me out--only prob is I'm in the UK and he's 5 thousand miles away in the US! Do I suggest that me and him pursue an online LDR or shall we just keep in touch without getting serious?I just have this strange feeling towards him, as though a magnet is pulling me towards him, but I've never met him before, so I don't actually know the guy.I guess I'm just a little annoyed about the fact that we both want to meet up and hav the chance to get to know one another, but can't because of the distance issue. Help. Should I do anything about this?!
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female
reader, Marie-Jane +, writes (13 September 2010):
Marie-Jane is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hey guys, thanks so much for your feedback. Yeah I know that with things like tarot etc... it should be taken with a pinch of salt, it's not binding in anyway. I'm not planning on meeting the guy (or even travelling to see him) anytime soon but was just contemplating whether or not I should. He and I are freinds on Facebook and we've seen pics of each other. He's read my poetry (I'm a creative writer) and he likes my work.
I know the pro's and cons of meeting people via the internet, they can pick and choose which information to tell or withhold. This is why I prefer to meet people properly, so that those barriers are left behind. (It just sucks that he's in a different country!)
Yeah the connection we both have of being born in the same country (which is different to our home country) and the distance between us now is trivial. I just found it a bit weird as I havent met anyone else who was also born in a country which had an American military base and an English one four hours away. (Although Im sure there are lots of you out there :)
Thanks again for your help. He and I are still keeping contact,talking(whenever he uses msn)online and maintaining the poke war on facebook :)
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (13 September 2010):
 I hate to say it but the connections you are describing are trivial. 12 days apart? 4 hours distant? Those are tenuous to say the least. Sorry.
Understand that as humans our minds are always looking for patterns and connections, and will see them where they don't exist.
Meeting someone on the Internet is like learning about someones house by peering through the mailbox slot in their front door. We know almost nothing, and our imaginations fill in the rest. If we are in a hopeful state of mind, then we'll fill in the blanks with positive images and wishful thinking. Things that inevitably do not match reality. And in the process, we can fall in love with a person that is actually mostly a figment of our imagination.
Having said all that, feel free to continue talking to this guy. Just put things in perspective a bit.
I suggest you both get skype and webcams, and start talking via video chat. That at least gives you visual cues to go on, which helps a lot when it comes to getting to know someone.
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A
female
reader, 21w  +, writes (13 September 2010):
 I don't know anything about tarot or any other psychic things. But I can tell you my story. I got messaged by a guy on facebook. He was asking something about the group I was admin for. So is from the same country I am from. We both have same profession-musicians. We lived in the same city before coming to US. We start talking online. We had a great connection. We had a lot of things in common. After a couple of YEARS of talking like this we finally decided to met. We had just 12 hours of driving between us. So I went to visit him because I had a break and he didn't. So...I was there for about 4-5 days. Those were the worst days of my year. He wasn't who he was trying to show me. He was filtering A LOT of BS when we talked online. And we talked A LOT. Even on the phone. Never make a judgment of a person based just on the feelings and talks online. That's what I learned. At least wait a bit more and find out things about him some more. And if you feel like you have to meet, go for it but be careful. I wouldn't go see him, let him come to you. Who knows, maybe it is something special. But just be careful!GOOD LUCK!!! ))
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2010): Well, you have some things in common, some are superficial, others more deep... people have gotten together for much pettier reasons in life... if you two hit it off, and at least one of you has the ability to drop your obligations in the country you live... in case the relationship gets serious... then I suggest that you go for it... but don't go forward with it unless at least one of you is willing to move to the other country if it gets serious. otherwise it will just be heartbreaking ending.
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