A
female
age
36-40,
*ehWife
writes:Married for two yrs, one child. My husband and I have sex daily. He orgasms at least twice a day by sex, oral, and you name it, i'm game. Yet he still looks at porn. One, i am completely amazed he has it in him, and two it hurts that despite my best efforts i don't satisfy his every need... three (here's the big one) *i am brown skinned(a world wide mix) and the porn he watches is of Caucasian girls- it bothers me, but should it?*Too addition, he watches a lot of DP pornography, and dirty talks about DP while we are having relations- but doesn't entertain the idea of bringing another man into the bed room, he gets really possessive. If that's what he watches, and is so turned on by- why won't he let me do this for him instead of looking for it online. He wants me to be his princess, yet he gets off on whores. *Why won't he let me be his everything.*
View related questions:
orgasm, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): I'm going through a similar thing. I'm Caucasian, and I've found porn on my husband's computer of only Asian girls. It reaaallllly hurts me. It seems like a fetish that I'll never be able to fulfill him with. I am also not nearly the same body type as these women (even though I am thin).
I have given it a year - but I found that he had more porn in secret. It hurts me more every time. For me, I think I need to stand up for myself.
If you've told your guy and he doesn't feel badly for using porn (when it hurts you) than that's unforgivable. But if he feels remorse for hurting you, you can work it out. You might even consider going to a couples' counselor (even though it might seem too scary - it will help). Good luck. :)
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (9 September 2008):
 Allow me to attempt some kind of perspective as an older man who has enjoyed watching a fair amountl of pornography in the past 15 years or so (partly blamed on being totally alone in an extreme rural location for eight years), but I also admit occasional viewing prior to a divorce about 12 years ago.
In my opinion, two factors have grown dramatically over the past 20 years or so. Number one: Availability, both online and through local porno shops. As the availability dramatically increased, the profits have soared because the demand has perhaps always been festering. Previous to about 20 years ago, availability existed but not nearly so widespread. Today it seems everywhere. There have always been lonely men, due to culture, shyness, ugliness, lack of romantic verve or whatever. And men are and have always been highly visually stimulated. Examples: Playboy Magazine (since early 1950s) and all similar genre.
A bit of history from an older guy: There was a time not too long ago in my memory when the sight of a woman's belly button on television was prohibited. Compare that to today. Probably the first blatant view of a female belly button was displayed by Cher way back when (1970s), as I recall. It raised quite an uproar, but I was chuckling all the while.
Number two: Although pornography has existed throughout recorded history in one form or another, sometimes fairly openly but more restrained during the 20th Century in America, the graphic nature of the activities depicted have gone off the chart compared to the more conventional simple copulation or glamour girl scenes of older days. It was years before even Playboy Magazine ventured to show an airbrushed pubic area on a woman.
But today, anything goes as pornographers and the participants go to any extreme to depict the most bizarre of sexual perversions. Perhaps many men simply get turned on seeing beautiful girls sucking penises and swallowing semen, which is understandably a favorite pleasure - but scenes such as that are now relatively common and considered mild. It is all about money, of course, as the field is now a $ multi-billion business and spreads worldwide on Internet.
On a personal note, I've grown rather sick of it all, but I totally support the freedom of expression. In my case, when I have a woman in my life, I don't bother with all that junk. Yet I reluctantly appreciate the availability of the milder versions when needed. So to answer your question, I think that your husband's interest in consistent pornography despite all of your attention is some reason for concern if it either continues or increases. In my opinion, some is ok - but too much pornography can ruin a relationship. It can become a destructive addiction. Sorry for the lengthy dissertation. Best wishes.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2008): No matter how beautiful you are it won't stop a guy looking if thats the person he is. No matter who he is with he would look.I understand what you mean, I satisfy my boyfriends every fetish, dress up, I'm young, slim and told I'm beautiful frequently, doesn't stop my boyfriend. Same situation applies to many of my friends... though in my situation my bf has completely lost the desire for real sex so as bad as your situation may seem rest assured that there is at least one person who finds something to envy in it, I would love sex twice a day with my guy!
...............................
A
female
reader, perry1  +, writes (8 September 2008):
I believe it's a guy thing. I'm not really sure why they have 2 watch it but they do. I am 43, my husband 48, been married for a year now, but just the other day I found a pic on his phone, which he had gotten on line 2 see of some ugly fat chick showing her breasts. Why? I am 5'3" 108lbs and am willing 2 do just about anything w/ him. So why search the web for crap? Some guys say they look at or watch porn because their girl is not willing 2 do that type of stuff or even watch it. In reality they don't know 'cause they don't ask us. Tell him you want, if this is what you truly do want, to be his everything, willing 2 be his little playmate he sees on the porn or web, see what it is he wants as well as what you are willing to do w/ him.Talk openly and see where your relationship is headed. Tell him how it hurts your feelings when he chooses to watch this and not share w/ you what he would like from your love time. I Really don't have advise except for that, for I also am going through something similiar. But trust me, it's not you and he does love you, but just talk to him and ask. After all, if she were fat, ugly, pretty, blonde, brunette, hispanic, or whatever, you would still ask WHY? As I have.
...............................
|
