A
female
age
30-35,
*nthestars124
writes:I am very confused whether to continue my 4.5 year relationship with my boyfriend. Here is our past info: we met at 17, had a crazy teenage passionate love, over the years we grew more different but only hung on to eachother because of what we had when we were 17/18. Currently I'm in my last year of college and my boyfriend is hopping from job to job. His family is going through very tough financial problems and so is he. He was going to go into the Navy last year but couldn't because he got arrested for drunk driving. So he is struggling to pay off his court fees, living fees, and and other costs because he can't find a stable job. I've always helped him financially because i have a very good part time job and make good money. He has always hated me giving him money but always took it out of desperation. My problem that i have with him is that ever since he was 18 and graduated from high school, he never really was motivated to do anything in life. He always loved being lazy and smoking weed with his friends. He is 21 now and when he should be looking for work, he pushes it aside and goofs off with his friends. He has deadlines for his court fees but he just forgets it and focuses on what type of weed he can afford to buy. It doesnt even seem like he is interested in going to the Navy anymore after he gets off of probation. He lacks ambition and can't do anything positive for himself without being pushed really hard. And I'm always there pushing and nagging him and helping him out financially because i know he has potential to do amazing things. And now I do not know what to do, I'm getting frustrated each and every single day. And he always has a pity party complaining he hates where he is in life and wants to change it but doesn't know how to. And i try to guide him but he just gets intimidated by the long process of college financial aid or filling out multiple job applications and stops trying because he gets lazy. He lacks ambition and dive and I'm scared thats what hes going to be like in the future. Should I just leave him now or help him more and stay with him?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 December 2011):
 He must be real good at something, maybe sex ?- Otherwise this would be such an easy choice ! a mandatory one, in fact.
Lazy bum, irresponsible, drinks and drives , pothead, eternally jobless.. and a moocher. He hates taking money from you, poor soul... but eventually he does every time.
Not exactly the definition of a " keeper ", and if you haven't kicked his lazy butt to the curb yet, well, I hope for you you have your good reasons.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011): My nephew went through this kind of period in his life, like you everyone labelled him as lazy because he couldn;t get himself motivated like everyone did. I thought there was something more to it and I encouraged him to find someone to help him and he was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I am not saying that your boyfriend is depressed or whatever, I'm not a doctor, but maybe there is something more to it than laziness, and it may help him to talk to someone and find out if he is just unmotivated. Since my nephew addressed his anxiety issues and depression, and stopped self medicating, he has a very good job, married a wonderful girl and had his first son on christmas day. There may be more to it than just laziness is what I am saying. As for whether you should leave him, I can't tell you whether you should, only you know whether or not you want it to end. Good Luck
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