A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hello i have a question, i am married but my marriage is not in the best shape. me and my husband sleep in different rooms but he stills asks for sex. He says he going to get his own place but that never happens. He cheated on me last year and the things he told the other woman really hurt me. But heres the problem, i have been seeing this married man for 5 years and i love him very much. we use to talk every other day but now he seems distant. i use to turn to him whenever i felt bad about my own marriage but, he doesn't call me like he use to and it hurts. Now of course i forgave my husband because i know what i have been doing, but i just want to be happy. i cant stop thinking about this married man, i wish he would call me like he use too but he doesn't. i just wish i knew why? i have decided to break it off and just be friends please tell me what i can do to stop thinking of him. i think i made him a really big part of my life and i don't know how to cope without him. my husband really gets on my nerves, and me and my husband have been through alot he was physically abusive, verbally abusive and still is from time to time. i wont out of this marriage, and i just want to stop thinking of my married lover. I know i was wrong because he is married and i would never want him to leave his wife for me. i just want to stop thinking of him so much. he's in my thoughts constantly help!!!!
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cheated on me, married man, want to be happy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010): Caringuy, the lady asked for help not to be judged, what part of help you dont understand? My sister figure out exactly what is wrong with your marriage/ your husband & try to sort things out! If it doesnt work step, for now keep your legs closed for both men especially your borrowed man of 5 years, he is draining you emotionaly, try not to call him or beg him to spend time with you, maybe he is busy sorting out his marriage, i advise you to try and do the same
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): you have been cheating on your hb for 5 years with your lover and you are what, hurt that your hb had an affair last year??
well stop thinking of him. start closing your legs to him and then wow- he is out of your system. and then tell your husband to file for divorce. you are such a sneaky wife - berating your hb for a minor affair when you have been doing it behind his back for 5 years. and i am sure your hb feels just so bad doesn't he, little does he know that his missus has been giving it to another man while playing faithful wife to him. the irony , i tell you
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (15 January 2010):
The married man has been using you, as you have been using him. The thing is, you turned to him for emotional support, whereas he just used you for sex by the sound of it. That means he can switch off any time he likes. You're thinking about him all the time because your own marriage is so abusive, you're jumping at the first sign of any love or affection. If you really want those thoughts to end, you have to stop the affair entirely, cut all contact and end it, period. Then if you are serious about ending the marriage (and if he is abusive, I would recommend it), speak with a lawyer and counsellor, then get out. At the moment, rather than dealing with the problem, you're side lining it and looking for a quick escape with this lover. But you can do better than a husband who abuses you, and a lover who uses you for sex. You need to focus on yourself, keep men out of your life for a while and build up your esteem. Then when you're ready, you'll meet a guy who does care about you.
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