A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:dear cupid, i really need your help. theres this guy "travis" that i dated in highschool for two weeks. we broke because he had been talking to his ex girlfriend the whole time and when i left him he went straight back to her even though he swore he had no feelings for her. i didnt talk to him for a year for the last year we have been best friends. about three months ago we decided to turn it romantic once again and he had been pretty much madly in love with me even the whole time we were friends and i dont think he ever let high school go. Well for the few weeks he was pushing me to give it a title or something and i just wanted to casually talk he wanted to take it too fast i wasnt ready to be his girlfriend and i just started being really mean to him but he persisted and stayed with me. i dont know why i was being so mean i guess subconciously to push him away because i was afraid. then we got a little more serious, i completely opened up and were together all the time and for about a month we were like a fairytale it was so wonderful. then i started getting suspicous of him and this girl in particular "sarah" because we were on a date and he was glued to his phone talking to her. sarah is his best friends ex girlfriend who had always had a thing for travis and indeed was trying to get with him. he even admitted it. Well about two weeks ago i started trying to convince him we should break up but a mutual breakup but he just wouldnt have it. one time he cried another he pleaded and one time he dropped the l bomb and got mad at me when i didnt say it back. i of course said it back but i love you is out of my comfort zone. i ditched him on dinnner because i lost my keys and had to pay too much money to have someone come make me a key so i called him to ask if i could stop by to see him at work or something. he said he went home early because he had the flu and i knew it was a lie. i had no choice but to say okay bye he said hey, i love you and i just hung up. i caught him at waffle house with sarah. he said after he found out she was trying to get with him he stopped taling to her and claims she was on myspace im and thats how he talked to her cause he didnt even have her number and if i had said i love you back this wouldnt have happened. what do i do now? I really care for him and i feel like this is at least half my fault for not opening up to him and being so hardshelled to him. Please please help me I've never felt this way before I care for him so much.
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female
reader, ChristianGirl  +, writes (24 September 2009):
wow this is really complicated so u really like him but feel uneasy opening up? i get that bit but why try to convince him to break up with you if you didnt actually want to break up? and on his side its terrible of him to say to you that if you'd have told him you love him than he wouldnt have met up with this girl. if he really loved you he wouldnt lie to you and he wouldnt meet up with other girls it sounds like emptional blackmail. you said he was interested in his ex in high school and then he ran back to her when you split up it sounds like something similar is happening now with this other girl. there is no excuse to be on the phone to another girl when your on a date with your girlfriend. from what i gather he wants to keep you but wants to do things his own way, also you might really like this guy but theres along way from likeing someone and loving them its doesnt sound like you wanted a relationship with him in the first place and you still want to break things off. I say dump him and dont take no for an answer, you have to think about yourself as well as him and in the long run this'll be better for the both of you. good luck
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