A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, ive just turned 18 and im in abit of a difficult situation. Im not the most confident guy in the world, i suppose when it comes to my friends though im pretty confident and just generally friendly. Thing theres 4 of us who are the best of friends we;re together all the time, however one of the girls has been my best friend since infants school, our familes have always got on well and everything. I started to realise i had feelings for her afew years ago but never said anything and its got to the point where im ead over heels in love with her. I stop round hers a lot as i say weve been friends for a very long time. I never said anything because shes my best friend and i didnt want to reck what we had. However ive recently found out off someone else that she feels exactlly the same about me....ive often thought she did, it was one reason i let my feelings grow so strong for her because i thought she felt the same. Turn out shes liked me for sometimes and tbh im starting to see it even more. She cuddles up to me alot...she always has done its just because we;re so close but tbh i keep sensing it and i dont know why...its like theres more to it but also theres tensions. Shes not very confident with some things and so i think we al know she'll never bring this up with me first.I'm just totally stuck because sometimes when we;re hanging out together were normal and other times i just wanna say something to her but i just dont know what. I want to make this as casual and as normal as possible, ive been told by one of our other mates that we hang around with lots....more or less her best friend(girl) that she;d do anything to be with me but shes scared and isnt even sure how she woul go about it....shes never had a bf before and basically she just doesnt know what to do + theres the step up from how close we already are to being together.Im just not sure how and when to bring this up or what to say to her or even if to say anything...i suppose to start with i kinda wanna draw her in abit and make her more comfortable with the way we act around each other and gradually start to change it but i dont know how. Theres times where if we;ve all been messing about and ive had hold of her hand to do something, you know...i dont actually wanna let go. I just, im not sure how to do it i just wish it could just happen naturally by the way we;re acting but im not to sure how to approach the subject or anything..Sorry if im being a pain im just not sure how to describe what it is, its so weird and ive really gotta make this work and make it right because this is someone i could not loose for the world. I know she wants the same so please help me with the next steps. Thank you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): I think your question is really hard to answer because you are talking about the next step and you have no problems. How about this? Have you ever heard of the term, A straight shooter. Communication comes out exactly how you intend. If you want to keep holding her hand, do so. This communicates this is what you wanted and your feelings, than tucking them away. Keep note of everything she does which shows she likes you, and it will take you out of your shell. Then she will come out of hers. There's nothing wrong with a tryer, but every-thing wrong with not trying at all and failing and thinking but, I should have tried, I could have done better. If you give all and fail, at least she knows the real you. Tell it like it is, act like it is. And always be aware of the others reactions. Communication has to be ok for both. If she is looking uncomfortable at a certain time for whatever reason, retreat. If she looks happy, continue. But I think time will resolve these issues and you are worrying over nothing and every-thing so far is actually going right. So it's a hard one, you don't really have a problem. Just a learning experience. I think you can answer if I am correct or not.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): Seems pretty easy, don't get so worked up and worried about it. If you have heard from her friends that she feels the same, then go for it. Next time you are with her tell her that you like her and ask her if she wants to be your girlfriend. Stop being such a "nice guy".
Be careful too, because when you want a girl this much it's dangerous. If you're sure she likes you, then it will be great once you ask her to be your girlfriend. If she doesn't like you, you are going to be in a world of hurt.
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A
female
reader, kittykhaos +, writes (14 August 2009):
 Aww love i feel your pain. Just ask her if she would like to be with you be as relaxed as you can about it. If she says no don't push the issue any further.. I am in love with my best friend and i feared telling him would ruin our friendship only to find out he actually felt the same way but for slightly more complex reasons our ship had sailed. Just go for it ask her for a drink just you and her and tell her how you feel not in a full on scary " I want you to be mine for ever and ever" but just tell her you really like her and don't do what my best friend did and start telling me when he was drunk over and over he was in love with me. Try to be as sober as possable and just be honest as you can. Good luck x
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