A
female
age
36-40,
*ongwayround
writes:I met a guy while on holidays in the USA. We met in Arizona. We had an amazing one night stand and I never thought I would see him again. He flew back to Illinois and I continued on my trip.We exchanged numbers, he changed his flight the next day so that he could have an extra hour with me. We kept in contact.The day before I was due to fly home to Australia from San Francisco he called me and asked if he could fly me to Chicago to stay with him. I said yes and extended my stay in the USA so I could spend an extra two weeks just with him.When I got to know him better I realised that I like him very, very much. We went to music festivals, he introduced me to childhood friends and old college buddies. We had amazing sex, laughed until we cried and had some awesome adventures together. I ended up having to return to Australia due to work and my mortgage and responsibilities. I got on the plane with a heavy heart. I don't know if I will ever see him again.Since returning to Australia we have kept in contact by email. We met on the 4th of July and now it's almost September. That's 2 months of contact since meeting in a bar and having a one night stand.Our emails are not romantic, we don't say that we miss each other or any sexual things. We mostly talk about our families, work, concerts, friends, travel... I never end my emails with xoxox neither does he. What's the point? He lives on the other side of the planet. I consider him my friend that I had a lot of amazing sex with.But I am completely falling for him. I can't get him out of my mind. All I can think about is getting back to the USA so I can see him again. He is hot stuff. Handsome, educated, successful. I am sure that he would have no problem in finding a girl who lives in the same country as him. The thought drives me nuts. Although I would never tell him that.I am guarding my emotions from him and don't want him to think that I am desperate.I am just obsessed with him, I admit it. I wake up and think about him. Every time I get an email and its not from him I feel disappointed. I check his facebook photos 100 times a day just so I can see his smile. I get butterflies and blush when he makes me laugh in an email. In a perfect world I would be happy to relocate to the USA to be with him. I would quit my job, lease my house. But I know the world is not perfect and I was probably just a cute Aussie girl that he thought was interesting and different. So he flew me across the country to be with him.I've never met a guy like him before. Why would he spend so much money on me and trust me to stay in his apartment and introduce me to meaningful people in his life? Why would he keep in contact with me after I returned to Australia?I asked his friends, neighbours and local bar tender if he flies girls out to stay with him all the time? They all had the same answer. No one has seen him with a girl for over a year. That one was his crazy ex girlfriend who no one liked. So I know that he is not a player, I must have made quite an impression on him for him to fly me out to Chicago.I think it's hurting me to think about him all the time. I have no idea if he thinks about me as much as I think about him. Although I doubt he does. I think that I am just being infatuated with him.Please help me stop thinking about him. I want to keep in contact, but I want him so much more than just a friend to email every week.What do you think he feels about me?
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (29 August 2014):
 Tell him by all means so you know where you stand. Tell him that even though you never thought this could possibly happen, you're in love with him and those beautiful moments that you spent with him meant so much to you.
See where it goes from there. Ask for him to come on Skype. I get the feeling that maybe you're being awkward about this. No harm in suggesting, see what he says. If he agrees, have a skype date and then tell him. You can see his expressions and his immediate reactions and that itself will tell you a lot about what he thinks.
A
female
reader, Longwayround +, writes (28 August 2014):
Longwayround is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your responses. I really appreciate it!
Perhaps I should tell him how I feel. I am worried about scaring him away if I told him so soon.
The thought has struck me. Why haven't we FaceTimed or Skyped? I haven't asked him and he hasn't asked me.
In my last email I asked him for a photo of himself. I sent one of me. So I guess we'll see if he sends one back? We usually email once a week because we are both busy with work and friends and life.
I know it's very possible that he will meet someone else.
He is pretty shy around women though. I was the one who picked him up at the bar. No lie, I walked up to him and my first words to him were "What's a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this?". The conversation eventuated from there...
We are both busy, career orientated people. We both work in the health industry in positions that require a lot of hours at work and a lot of travel.
His first name is the same as my first name. Our birthdays are two days apart but he is 4 years older than me.
I guess you can see why we had the one night stand and how much we have in common. Right down to our first names.
There is the problem. I get stuck thinking about what the chances are that I would meet him?
I am already planning to go back to the states next year in May for 3 weeks. I am budgeting for a hotel because even though he says I can stay with him now, he may have met another girl by then.
I have made a lot of other friends that I will visit while I'm there. So if he's not available it's no big deal.
He defiantly has some kind of idea that he will see me again. Even if it's just once or twice a year.
I am afraid of loosing contact with him all together like some of the stories I have heard about.
The worst that can happen if I tell him how I feel is that he stops communications with me.
Maybe it would be a good thing because I won't be strung along anymore or I will be pleasantly surprised?
I wouldn't even know how to start an email like that?
"Hi, I think we have a great thing going and I want to try a long distance relationship?"
Any advice/ thoughts on that one please?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 August 2014):
 I agree tell him how you feel and see what he says
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (28 August 2014):
I too met an amazing guy while on a trip abroad. While it wasn't sexual, we had a pretty good connection and I had the biggest crush on him. We kept in touch after I got back home but gradually the mails dwindled and now I just see the odd picture of his on Facebook. Do I think about him today? Yes. But it doesn't hurt anymore today. It's just a wistful feeling and I smile at the lovely memories we shared.
OP all I can tell you is, if you're meant to be together then you will be. If he did all that he did for you, then I'm sure he must like you a lot too. No one does that just for a casual acquaintance.
Why don't you call him and talk to him and tell him everything that you've told us? Maybe he's sitting across the world thinking of the same thing as you! You have nothing to lose OP. If he feels the same way, then you can start planning your future together. If he doesn't, at least you know where you stand and you can slowly move on.
Nothing venture, nothing gained. Go for it OP
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2014): I'm sorry Love, this was just a one night stand and lustful gesture a good man showed you. Take your mind of it. He is keeping communication going on with you by emails alone. A guy who wants you will call you. You had powerful sex and opened up to a guy who is just having fun with someone he knew he won't see again.
Sorry to be harsh but meeting close relatives to him may just be something to do at the time to shut his relatives up and to make him look like he had moved on from his crazy ex. Don't beat yourself up about it go have another fling with no feelings attached and start dating other men.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (28 August 2014):
 Wow! What an amazing adventure you had with him. I don't blame you for feeling all those butterflies. This is the kind of stuff you see in movies or read in romance novels:)) I think the two of you have a wonderful friendship that has the potential to develop into something more. I know many married couples who have made long distance love affairs like this work.
I think he really likes you and there is a genuine connection between you, but I think he would have to be the one to tell you if he wants to take this relationship to the next level. You won't know the answer until you take that risk to be vulnerable and tell him how you truly feel about him. I really hope this fantastic love affair has a happy ending:)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2014): This is a very interesting question. During my travelings I met quite a few guys, some I had sex with, not many. Some I absolutely adored, no one but one did what your guy did: I was going to leave the next day, but he convinced me to stay,paid for the hotel, I insisted though today for changing my tickets. He introduced me to his friends, not parents. This mad fun and sex continued for a week and then I really had to go back home. We both almost cried when we hugged each one another the last time. We promised to keep in touch and deffinitely meet soon. That was 2 years ago. I couldn't stop thinking about him. His email were slow answered, then he stopped answering them. Then few months later I saw he had met a girl. I was totally heart broken, but I realized that this is what was ment to happen. This is my story, yours could be more romantic and permanent. What I understood through my experiences w that all the things he did dont really matter in a long run. Infatuation often rules people's behavour.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2014): You need to tell him you love him immediately! What have you got to lose? He sounds like a great guy and you are miserable with out him. Go for it!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2014): I did move from the other side of the world to be with someone that I love, and I did the right thing. It maybe hard at the begining but at the end the outcome was amazing for me. In your case it is still too soon to think about such a move but if he knows that there is such a posibility it may change the dynamic of the relationship for good. I was in LDR for 2.5 years until I moved to the US. Just give it more time and give him the hint that always there is this posibility to move and start from there to see where it will take you. You will find out that If he is really interested or it was just a few days of fun! good luck
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