A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Please help me. I feel like I have changed so much, and I dont expect anyone to put up with it, or even care. I dont understand it but recently I just have been feelin that I dont care about anything and I just cant be bothered. And thats not like me. I like being by myself, and being in the dark. I take long walks at night, just wandering, and I like sitting high up in trees so nobody can find me. I can only think that I may be missing my dog, who died a few months ago. It sounds stupid to get this miserable over a dog, but she was my best friend and was just so loyal. I like many people, but I only truely love a few. Thats just how I am and my dog came pretty high up. I understand that eveything must die, but it happened so quick and it was such a shock. It was a car, and my parents had burried her before i returned home so I never got to say goodbye. I never cry. Ok hadn't before, now i wake up and i feel tears and I dont know why. Im not like sobbing, its like cryying without the effort. I dont eat anymore, and it fustrates my mum. I dont mean to be annoying. But when I do eat I feel I have to throw it up, which I did for a bit, but I realised its wrong and I have been trying to stop myself. Everyone is saying I have changed, and i want to change back but I dont know how. Im so confused. Im scared of losing the others I have. And I have exams next week. Im just so tiered of this. Any advice would be appreciated x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): i might be the only person that understands exactly where you come from regarding your dog.please read all the way through..i have always been the kind of person that has one froend at a time instead of a group of friends.my best friend is my cousin who'm i grew up with and we became like two peas in a pod. same interests in music,movies,beliefs and life in general.almost like twins he and i.there came a time that i wasn't able to see him for a long while.it was at this time that my current girlfriend and i had broken up.i'm disable to a sleep disorder(insomnia) and can't sleep if any kind of stress at all,even the most minor is in my life/.one night in 1993,a dog was howling out the pool area(apartment complex)at 4am.to explain this ina brief way,let me just say that someone had dumped this dog and moved out of the complex i guess.the vet told me he was 4 months old.yeah i kept him basically.he and i became ,as my counselor says,soul mates.i had no best friends except my dog for the entire time he was alive.i was with him 24/7 cause i don't work. he learned so much of the english language,more than basic commands.for example he knew the words "around","tree" and "go"..so if we were walking on his leash and he had to go around a tree to avoid getting hung i'd merely say go "around the tree" or if he GOT hung,i'd say"go around" or just "around" and he'd immediately do as i aid. he also did this when we'd go the car to go out someplace.if he's go the wreong side of the car tro get in,i'd say "around" or "other side"..he'd immediately run to the oither side of the car to get in.this dog and i were together like sonny and cher for nearly 15 years until last march,2008/.i had a best friend still..my cousin..and we hung out now and then but in between it was my dog and me and even when michael(my cousin)was with me,my dog(his name was August,by the way),was with us also/.this dog slept with me,ate with me,listened to music with me,watched tv with me and my parents were known as grandmother and grand dad.they actually literally thought of august as a kid./i've foundit difficult to date because girls don't and won't go otu with a guy that usn't employable for the rest of his life.i've been set up with dates before but they turn out to be just one time things for that reason. as i said,my dog augst became my best friend.he understood english to the point of totally awesome..he knew what i was feling when i was feeling it,whether it was joy,depression,fear or boredom., and he shared it all with me/.once in a while in the last few years before he left this world,i would think of what it would be like for me if and when he went he passed on,but i would only start to cry if i even began to think about it..i knew i wouldn't be able to live if that happened to me..it would have been the worst thing in the world to me..like my mom dying or something,,and who likes to think about that right?well.. about two years ago,,two summers ago actually...august began to breathe hard alot of the time..panting i mean,,which he'd never done before unless we'd been playing for a while together.i took him to the vet and he said august had water built up around the heart,but it wasn't bad and he gave us medicine for it.he would still pant now and then but i began to get accustomed to it and didn't worry.he was 12 years old and i knew that age might have takena slight toll on him/.otherwise he was as active as ever.even the vet said that never in his carrer as a vet has he seen a dog in such good health at this age.my dog was acting like a puppy at 12..no slowing him down and aside form the escessive panting now and then he was totall;y still acting as though he was a young puppy/.things went like this until last summer,2007.in november i took him to the vet to get his glands emptied cause he's almost always had to have them emptied about every two or three months.the vet said that he didn't want to do this for fear of hurting his back,as he'd been having some slight arthritis pains..not bad though. in time august became constapated for some reason and it was imperative the vet check him out.he said he couldn't again..the same reason,he gave me a pill to numb august so he could check his anal glands.but i failed to tell the vet that august had lost quite a bit of weight.from over 20 to 16 pounds..he was quite underweight at that point as he was supposed to be 20/.i went home and gave august the pill the next day to take him in...big mistake..he fell asleep before i got him in the car..took him to the vet and they checked him but said take him home and wait til he wakes up and they soke as if he'd wake up and be okay,that the pill knocking him out wouldn't have hurt him any/...i took him to my parents apartment to let him sleep there since it was closer than my apartment from the vets. bottom line is the dog slept 36 hours..straight through.he woke up and could barely even stand up at first and when he did,one of his hind legs looked as though it was way out of joint as it stuck way out like someone had snapped it from it's joint..it was bizarre looking.i panicked! i couldn't understand what happened.he began to walk and just hobbled around with real uncomfortability and possibally pain. somehow sleeping for that long,his leg became out of joint. it was from then on he went fastly downhill..whenhe awoke from that sleep he was suddenly another dog altogether..lame..so arthritic that i couldn't even walk him the length of 5 houses before he'd tire out ,stop and want to go back home.his eyes weren't bright and happy anymore.i could tell that he didn't understand why the last thing he remembered is being at home with me and suddenly waking up at grandmothers and granddads in this kind of shape.after all,,imagine being healthy enough to walk and run and play and jump and do all the things you can normally do now..suddenly waking up to a life of barely even being able to walk the length of 4 or 5 houses on your block..even breathing was heavy and difficult..this was november by the way..this dog LOVED the christmas season..always..he knew chistmas for 13 years just like a kid would know christmas and he loved the season with the tree,the lights and the wrapped presents,the songs,etc...but christmas 2007 wasn't christmas for august.i can barely describe it without crying..he couldn't open even 1 gift by himself.and that was what he loved most..to open his own gifts and reciev a brand new toy or a bag of christmas treats..he couldn't open even one gift..he tried...the memory of that kills me when i think of it..he attempted to put the corner of the wrapped present in his mouth as i held it in front of him..he just couldn't grab it oer even get it fully in his mouth..he got the very tip of one corner..and just gave up so i opened it for him..that was horribally upsetting to me but i didn't let on to him that i felt that way/. well the holiday seasson passed and it was january and august was doing better suddenly..this was awesome to me..he actually began to run and play even at one point..this lasted for only a while. maybe a few weeks? suddenly he was getting to be the other way again..he becams so constipated during the last part of january and february that i was taking him outside several times a day,witing sometimes for a half hour hoping he'd go..he'd gotten so he'd lay inside in his bed or on his doggy mat and pee while laying there..like an invalid...other times he'd try to get up to fo to the door to tell me he wants "outside".yeah this was a strange and horrible place to be from just months before when he was my normal dog,august/.to shorten this story let me just say that by the last week in february,he was howling and in pain and could barely sleep an hour ata time and the last two days of february he couldn't eat 'nor drink by himself and at first accepted help by letting me and my parents use a squirt bottle to squirt water into his mouth several times..that lasted just one day..the next day he wouldn't or couldn't even open his mouth to accept the water and he was in pain and it was obvious as he laid there on my parents living room floor that he couldn't eat,couldn't drink and had no joy,no happiness,no life so to speak.he was fighting to live,fighting to remain with me and my parents..the family he loved. he was part of the family..he was treated like a person for 14 years..not like a dog. i believe that august felt more like a person than a dog for the entire time i owned him/.the next day was march 1st..i made the decision.i put it off forever..but it had to be dealt with..this was the most horrible day of my entire life!!! literally!!!!i carried him to the car..we went to a vet..noy our regular vet..it was subday..our vet office was closed..we took him in..he layed quietly in my arms and he was peaceful in the waiting room.he looked so at peace as though he knew what was going on.it was ..weird??later my mom told me that he was looking at me as i was holding him and she said that he had the look of affection or love as he was looking at me..i hadn't noticed at the time i guess cause i couldn't see him looking up at me bvecause of the way i was holding him..but my mom said he was looking at me with affection and as though he knew he was going to be at peace soon..in fact let me add that he was at peace while in my arms and not once did he howl in pain as he had been doing at the apartment just that night before.ut came time to take him into the room to wait as he left this world.we watched the vet put the needle in his paw..he was concious..i kissewd his nose as he went to laid down to pass on..i stood after the vet said he was gone and i stared at him one last time. i've got his ashes that i keep on my bed.i cried for months everyday..i still cry frequently through the week.i wouldn't have been able to make it all this time if i hadn't decided to in june to lbegin to look for another puppy. i tried to find one that looks just like august..i found one..doesn't look just like him but i'm happy with him under the circunstances..under the circumstances?? that means that i love august more than i love my current puppy.but at the same time,this current puppy is that presence that i need to have with me.so many things he does remins me of august and often times i cry because of those things.yet at the same time i am attached to this dog. if god told me i could have august back again ,in perfect health for two years on the condition that i give up the current puppy?? i'm afraid i'd say yes..whole heartedly.....but let me say that ,as i type right now,my newest puppy has somehow found one of my christmas tree ornaments and he's playing with it almsot right under my feet..here it is the beginning iof july and this dog is playing with a blue tree ornament(ball) under my pc chair..(he found it a sack i keep in the corner of the living room..alot of my tree stuff is being stored in it since last christmas).and he's barking at me to play with him now...it's that puppy presence and these things he does that keep me from going into a huge major depression regarding mourning my august. if i didn't have this new dog(patches),i believe i'd be ina stse of major theraputical depression/. crying,sobbing,etc..i still go through that in mourning august but only now and then and it lasts only a few seconds to a minute..as long s i let the memory go through my brain..i guarantee you..get another puppy..a dog..i choe a puppy over an adult so we could establish a relationship from him being very young.you might want to get an adult dog that's already house and potty trained. a dog that isn't house or potty taimmed is a total obligation. the point here is that you need that doggy presence..even if it's not the same dog you lost. **********************my page dedicated to august is at http://thebabyinmyheart.rr.nugoood luck with your depression..
A
female
reader, Depressed-Girl +, writes (29 August 2008):
Sorry to here about your dog and i get depressed. Alot. My dog, Bella, died a few weeks ago at the week before we broke up from school. I couldn't stop crying. It's something that can't be erased from our memories but but someone told me my dog is always with me. Your dog will always be with you. As for being depressed, try hanging around with your mates and meeting new friends, think, when did you start getting depressed? Make up for any mistakes and try to get over this. However hard it is. Talk to someone close. Good Luck!!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008): I will pray for God, to give you some peace. My Dog LUCKY, got hit by a car on May 15th, he was my best friend..I cannot get over it either. I got a new puppy 3 weeks later and she is beautiful and has helped a lot...but it's just not my Lucky. But I asked him to send me some furry baby to love and that need to be loved...and he did. Ask your pet to send you a new furrry baby to love....then look on-line or in adoption centers...your pet will let you know which one it is to take home. Your pet knows how much you loved them, but loved you so much, they will not want you to be sad for too long, they want you to remember them,hold them in your heart and then be happy....go get yourself a furry one that needs your love and a home. It will help you...an adjustment...YUP...will you still cry...yup...but each day will be a little better. Try it. I was right where you are so I know
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): Dear
it is had to forget the death of a dog which is very affectionate towards you. But it has to be got over soon. If you still have the memories of the dog try to talk to your friend whom you trust.Pray to God to give you the strength to bear the sorrow.No words can cosole you except God's love.
Sincerely,
Dr Gangatharan
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (30 May 2008):
 I still grieve for my cat who died in 1978. Just a little bit, I don't weep everyday or anything like that. I just miss him and feel guilty that I wasn't there for him when he died. So it's like a hole in your life, you've had someone who loved you unconditionally, was always happy to see you and never complained. If my current pet died, I'd be a mess for months, I know!
Life throws us many challenges, schoolwork and exams and things like that can be scheduled but are still stressful. Growing up, having your body change against your will, hormones, feeling like things are not normal, those things we have no control over.
The eating thing might be a way for you to get control of your body, when it's doing things like sprouting hair in funny places, and bleeding once a month, and suddenly you've got these bumps where you were flat before, and you're getting unwanted attention. It's not nice, to have things out of your control. And then to have your beloved pet die and not be able to hold him and say goodbye and then have all these exams when you feel you can't concentrate. It's a lot to ask of anybody. Really.
The best thing you can do is ask your parents or your school counselor for help. They will want you to have the best in your life and you know what? There are lots of people who have gone through these things and come out okay. They might still be sad, but they are getting on with life and have some coping strategies because they asked for help when they needed it. So don't be afraid to tell someone you're in pain and hurting and sad.
PS I still miss my cat. :')
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey everyone thanks for your answers, I was honestly expecting 'Get over it' and I am so relieved not to have that. I agree I should be over the dog now, but its just not that easy as I have found.
A Capella, thank you for the poem, it helps a little and was very sweet of you :) To reply I have started eating a little although I just dont feel like it and I always want to get rid of it, I never realy sleep tbh but I have some herbal pill things which are alright. Not sure about getting another dog atm, but I started saving up for one a while ago seeing as I had nothing better to do. I dont realy feel like I have much energy at all. My mum thinks im long over the dog and im not sure she would understand...we dont talk much. Thank you again for all answers they were realy helpful im so happy that I can talk to someone xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): im very sorry about your dog: its just as bad no matter what sex you are, m or f: i was 14 and i was very attatched to my dogs: both were hit by cars at different times; once i actually saw it happen. i cried and its the almost the exact feeling as when someone breaks up with you.. but you actually should get over the dog faster.
dogs although we love them like people, they are not people. its so hard to focus now: is there anything else compounding the issue (like a bf?) you may be feeling all alone out there, in need of the unconditional love an animal provides because there are so many expectations of you now with exams. also, sometimes, although not best, we tend to crawl into a space and hold to emotional pain as a means of self definition.
go ahead and move on now. 2 months, you should be over the dog.
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A
female
reader, A Cappella +, writes (29 May 2008):
 You're showing classic signs of depression. Please talk to someone (school counselor, if not a parent) so that you can get help. Talking helps.
When we had to put our 19-year-old cat to sleep, the vet gave me this poem and it helped me:
God looked around His garden, // And found an empty space, // He then looked down upon this Earth, // And Saw your furry face.
He put his arms around you, // And lifted you to rest, //
God's garden must be beautiful, // He only takes the best.
He knew that you were suffering, // He knew you were in pain. // He knew you might never be well // Upon this earth again.
He saw the road was getting rough, // And the hills were hard to climb. // So he closed your weary eyes, // And whispered "Peace Be Thine."
It broke my heart to lose you, // But you weren't sent alone, // For part of me went with you, // The day God called you home.
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A
female
reader, bemused  +, writes (29 May 2008):
 Hi hunny
I am a high school teacher and wish all my students wrote as well as you. You are literate for your age. I think there could be a few things going on here. It is the end of the school year and I see a lot of stress with the students I work with. They are exhausted and do not know it. Bereavement over a pet is a HUGE issue and a huge stressor. You are fairly young still and maybe have not had the time to have those long lasting ties with other people but there is something about a pet, the way they go crazy when you walk in the door or the unconditonal love they get that is very special.
I agree with the other posters that it looks like the beginning of depression here for you hun. You are fragile and vulnerable and that is ok. I like the advice of the other posters of trying to get back into life although when depression takes over..you feel like you do not have the energy...do you.
You need to take care of YOU now. That means...
Eating...and make sure that includes fruits, vegeatables. You can buy little fruit cups and things.
Sleeping... I checked your age and do not know if something very minor could be given to you to help you sleep.
Support: When we are depressed we often draw away from our friends and family...make yourself make time for them.
Journal: Try writing down your feelings as you have them. Maybe get a day planner so you can plan your day.
Fun: Fun is important...think about what makes you smile and go for it.
Hope this helps hun xxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): Poor girl, I know JUST how you feel. I cried just reading your posting. There is nothing wrong with being sad over losing your pet. My dogs ARE my children and we are very close. Your dog has gone to heaven where all of God's creatures go... If you are allowed to have another pet, you could get one to help fill the empty void. You sound like a wonderful person who loves animals. Now, you need to regain your focus. I know its SO hard right now but you need to take care of yourself and eat, at least small meals. I know your heartbroken but please just try. Don't isolate yourself. Talk to one of your friends. Sometimes talking things out makes it better. It is a terrible feeling right now but it will get better. You just have to live through this moment and go on. You really need to get some rest and study for your finals with a clear head. The timing is terrible, I know, but everything will work out for you. I don't even know you but I am worried about you and I want you to talk to someone about how depressed you feel. Its completely normal and not stupid or wrong at all. Please do come back and tell us how you feel after your tests are over. There are complete strangers out here who care about what happens to you and want you to feel better, ok?Take care of yourself!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): I'm sorry to hear about your dog. Don't worry it's not your fault. A death is very hard to fo through, whether it is a dog or cat or even a hamster.
You could be suffering from depression.
Talk to your mum about how you are feeling. It's ok to cry. Give it your best effort, it may back you feel a little better. It's always hard holding these things in.
You should go to a doctor and tell him everything that you have told us. He maybe able to help.
Good Luck.
XxX
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife +, writes (29 May 2008):
 Well the way that I see it, loosing your dog was like loosing a Boyfriend in a way.
The think I do when I "brake up" (the only thing that truly dies is the relationship) is cry a lot, surround myself with the best of best friends (positive ones!) I have and eat lots of "Fat food".
My tears eventually kills the fire in my heart to make place to a new one.
Nothing last for ever. Life, relationship ... pain.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): I'm sorry to hear about your dog :( - it's not stupid to be miserable about it, I know I would be!
But it sounds to me like you are beginning to get depressed, once you get into this cycle it's difficult to get out of. You should talk to your mum about all these things that you feel, and she might understand and be able to help you. Also, the fact that you voice your feelings often feels as if you have a weight lifted off your shoulders (even if you thought there was no weight to begin with). You really should talk to people about it. Try and spend time with your friends - even if you don't want to, because it will help break you out of this a bit. And spend time doing things you enjoy (whilst socialising, not by yourself).
Hope I've helped a little! Keep us posted and I hope things improve soon :)
xx Hope xx
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