A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hiya!I am currently in what is by all means the best relationship ever. Not one thing could possible make me happier. He has never once done anything wrong, and I would never think that he would.Here's the problem. Prior to him, I was in two horrible emotionally abusive relationships. I was cheated on, lied to, and there were countless emotional affairs. And through all this, I remained the "good girlfriend" and kept forgiving them. Because I thought that if I just stayed forgiving and "nice" they would see what a good girlfriend I was, and would give up the other girls and stop hurting me. I was obviously young and inexperienced.Through this, I have developed major trust issues. At first I thought I could forget it all at the drop of a hat. But no, it's like my subconscious keeps telling me "you were amazing girlfriend #1, and they always cheated, why will this time be different?" which is horribly irrational and absolutely wrong. Also, in my past, most of these affairs were carried out over social media, in plain view of me (because my exes were also very stupid) so I have developed discomfort around and an aversion to social networking sites.So my issue is now this. I love my boyfriend, and the very thought of hurting him with my trust issues he does not deserve makes me feel physically sick. I know without any doubt that I have no reason to worry about him cheating on me, or that he will do something to hurt me, but I can't seem to kill the little voice in my head. It's not fair to me either, that I was given these emotional scars. After being hurt like this, I finally find someone who will unquestionably treat me right, and I can't forget my past.Are there any steps you can suggest I take to move on? I need someone to tell me what I can do to leave them behind once and for allPlease help me, I can't take it anymore.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the response! I shall keep trying. :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): I have been in your shoes and believe it is hard to do so. The only way I cope with it I take 15 min or longer to mediate on didnt scriptures in the bible about relationship and pray about it. Being in these abusive relationship has scar me and it very had to think happy thoughts in a new relationship because u always thinking negative thoughts. Try to always think good thoughts to overcome the bad. You can rude a good relationship I know because I been there. Overcoming the scar is a challenge and telling yourself he is not them dont judge him for your exes mistake judge him for who he is.
Hope this help.
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