A
female
age
26-29,
*adDa
writes:I met this guy on the internet. I'm not actually the prettiest of all but he accepts me for who I am and that's what makes him special. We often chat online and sometimes we talk on the phone. One day, he wanted to meet me in person. We met one night and we talked. He made me laugh, smile like I never did before. I've smiled before but I lied. My life is a train wreck. But at that night I finally smiled with happiness written all over it. I fell in love. We met again the next day and we spent hours together. Just the two of us. Finally he asked me to be his girlfriend. I smiled and said yes. We kissed for the first time and I've never been happier my whole life. But today he broke up with me. He said he didn't like me being a cry baby and he thinks I don't care about him. Is it wrong for me to cry or get jealous if he starts talking about other girls? Today I felt like the oxygen I use to breathe has been taken away from me. Imagine what I felt. He said we could still be friends but to me that just isn't enough. I want him to be part of my life. I just love him and hope we'll be together again. But I don't know how to win him back. Please help me. I'm losing hope and my heart is breaking.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (16 December 2010):
 What went wrong? It seems like you look down at yourself, because you began by stating that you're not the prettiest. You are the most beautiful, most amazing you that there is, because there is no one else who's exactly like you.
He was with you for who you are, which as you get older you'll find that looks are second to what people are really looking for in relationships. He felt you're over emotional? That could be true. It falls back to how you view yourself. You must love and respect yourself before you can give all you are to loving and respecting someone else or expect it in return. A true relationship, which includes friendships as well, is not determined by what you get out of it, but what you bring into it.
I tell you this because you won't get him back if you are bringing the same you into it. Spend some time working on your self esteem. Compliment yourself often. It's okay to tell yourself that you look good in a certain outfit or whatever the situation may be. Every morning when you get up I want you to do 2 things. (1) Spend a few minutes to appreciate who you are and what you have in life, and (2) give yourself 3 compliments about what you truly like about who you are. I want you to see yourself for who you are, and not expect others to validate or for you to go off of what others say about who you are. You are fully in charge of your sense of self, and you will find as your self esteem improves, even this guy may notice and give you two another chance. If not, another guy who may not have taken notice in you before might start turning his head in your direction.
I hope this helps. Take care.
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