A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My best friend and girlfriend who is 13 yesturday told me that she is bulimic. Only me and another friend no. We swore to secrecy that we wouldnt tell any 1, which is what we are going to do but how do i try and talk her out of this as she is very skinny and can feel her bones, she is not anerexic but if she continues within another 4 months she will be. Please help as i love her and she is perfect the way she is.
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): Yes, it is better to love her and help her (though she may resent it right now) than to keep a secret with her and to let her continue to hurt herself. Have you ever googled "lifehouse skit?" If she does not get help, there are a lot more things that she may deal with in dissatisfaction with herself. And God loves her very much, I will add. He loves you too. He doesn't make mistakes.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (25 January 2008):
 I'm not saying you don't understand the disorder. I'm saying you're not ready to take on this challenge. So you understand that with this disordedr the chemical serotonin is off balance in the brain. You also understand that by purging (throwing up), massive amounts of nutrition is lost that is vital for healthy organs to continue being healthy. This also happens with electrolyte imbalances which causes the person to become dehydrated. These can cause an immediate need for medical care. Unless you have iv's sitting around so suppliment the nutrition and electrolyes, a hospital would be required for this process.
It's hard seeing a friend in this position. The longer she waits to seek treatment, the longer it's giong to take for her to get better out of habit growing. The fact is, many people with this disorder who don't seek treatment end up dying. I've been working with behaviors for quite a few years. Eating disorders are some of the hardest to produce change. Just through counseling, without other treatments, would be only touching a small part of the help that's needed. I urge you to get help for your friend. Do what's best for her.
Take care
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): There are some secrets like this one that shouldn't be kept!! If you love her you will tell her parents about her - I mean you don't want to see her slowly fade away and die before your eyes knowomg that you didn't do anything to help? Sure she is going to go crazy and be mad at you for telling her parents but in the long run she will see it for what is - that you love and care about what happens to her. Be there for her, she might push you away at the start but don't turn your back on her when she needs you most as this will be a hard thing to beat! Best of luck to you and her X
...............................
A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (25 January 2008):
 You HAVE to tell someone. As rcn says, if you don't, she's going to die.She's in a really really bad situation, and if you don't tell anyone, she won't get the help she needs, and she will die. This is serious, not just a secret that you keep in a group like who fancies who. She won't get better if you don't tell someone.Tell someone now, not tomorrow or next week. NOW.The sooner you do it, the sooner she'll get better.If you love her then you will do what's right and tell someone.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the help, i am 15 though and i no what balemia is all about. I think becouse of the fact that i get stick for goin out with her is causeing her to do this, she is friends with all my friends, they love her to bits, but there is the odd person who is teasing me for going out with this, i dont mind but she feels sorry for me so i think this is the reasin why she is doing this.
...............................
A
female
reader, Variety +, writes (25 January 2008):
 Hey,I am 20 and one of my housemates is anorexic. Even at this age we got straight onto her parents when we were worried and tried to get them involved to sort it out. She now has regular check-ups etc etc. I don't know if they are working but we knew we had to do something.Its the same for you. She may end up hating you but you have to do this out of love. It is hard but she has something wrong inside her mind and she doesn't see the world the same as everyone else. She needs help to live a happy, healthy life or she will eventually die. Please do the right thing.Message me if you need to talk more about this.x
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): Rcn right, you need to tell someone.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): I completely agree with rcn.
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (25 January 2008):
I know you're 13 years old. Even though you're young I'm not going to sugar coat this situation for you. It's serious and a bit more serious than your group of holding secrets realize.
With feeling her bones and knowing what she's doing, do you really realize, your friend is slowly dying? Ask yourself this. Would you rather have a friend mad at you and live, or not mad at you and dead? I urge you to break the secrecy. You asked how to talk her out of it. You can't. You and your friends DO NOT have the education or experience in dealing with balemia. You can't just tell them to stop and boom they quit. It takes really knowing the problem to deal with them.
Just talking to her won't have any affect on changing the disorder. She needs medical care, and your job is just to be supportive of her treatment, and her recovery.
...............................
|
