A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've basically been in and out of relationships for the past year or more. I've completely forgotten what its like to be single and start to date someone. At the same time, my old boyfriend was very hands on.. meaning that he would call me/text me/email me like 50 times a day. This is what I'm use to. Now I'm dating a new guy and like I said, I dont remember whats appropriate, whats not. How often should I be contacting him, should I be waiting for him to do it, etc? For example, I havent spoken to him since last Thursday. Should I email him now to see what he's doing, or wait for him to come to me. I know it sounds stupid, but I've just forgotten how to behave around people I'm getting to know, esp since I'm use to crazy amounts of contact I know aren't normal for regular people. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ember13 +, writes (8 July 2008):
I think it'll always depend on the person. Some people like frequent contact and others don't.
In my opinion, I'd say at least once a week but 2-3 should be ok if you guys have been seeing each other for a bit. From last Thurs, I think it's cool to contact on Sat if it's something for the weekend or Sun or Mon for the next week. You know him best, what vibe do you get from him?
In terms of how to contact him, that'll also differ by person. Is he a phone person or an e-mail person? How do you prefer to communicate with him? I'm a phone person but a guy I'm seeing is not a phone person at all and wants to do everything by e-mail so that's what I do. You should be able to tell what works for him.
I don't think there's any "regular" way. Use your judgement and calibrate how you act based on his response. Sometimes it's trial and error.
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