A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There are many posts on here about teens in love with their teachers. Unfortunately i happen to be one of them, and it is indeed painful having such strong feelings for someone who you're never gonna be with.However, i'm not writing this to gain your empathy!I'd just like to know WHY these situations occur. I'm not referring to the teacher in particular of how they're mature, caring etc. I'm talking about in general; Does lack of love and affection cause us to develop these feelings for someone unattainable? Do we turn to our teachers because we've had bad experiences during our lives? Or are none of these explanations evidently proven as to why this happens?The reason for the curiosity is because i've been through quite alot during the last few years, ranging from bullying to watching my grandma dying (horrific as it was, she thankfully didn't die but this left me quite traumatised) and i'm just wondering whether events such as above have any link as to why i've fallen for a much older man, who i know is forbidden to me? You may be laughing at this theory i have but i'd like to hear your views on this!Thanks xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2008): I have experience of 'loving' a teacher. I say it like that because now that I have found a true love interest I know that my feelings for my teacher were silly and infatuative.
I don't know why it happens but for me it was something along the lines of recieving appreciation from the teacher that made me like them... and more =]
i have happy memories of the time as I can now look back and laugh (despite the occasional tease from friends).
I feel that falling for teachers is harmless so long as it doesn't develop to the point you want to tell them.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): I fell for my teacher because she was a good friend and helped me through tough time. 13 months since she left and i havnt talked or seen her since i still miss her like mad. So you know not all crushes are short lived...:P
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2008): Quite often I think the main reason behind some students' infatuation with their teachers is the safety - it allows them to experience intense feelings without the possible scariness of reciprocation. The fantasy is fun, and sometimes teachers can seem a little flirty... The majority of students wouldn't be able to handle it if they got what they wished for, though, because the crush is based on many things other than the teacher's personality and their compatability. To have teacher crushes is all part of growing up and maturing... a temporary release until students are ready for true, mutual relationships. That is why the teachers that abuse their power and encourage a relationship with a student are so wrong (in most cases...). The student doesn't usually know what they want - they just want to experience life and get the benefits of falling in "love" without having to deal with the rest of it. It's usually an innocent fantasy.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (18 August 2008):
 I think it is the fact that they are in a position of authority, a position os seniority over their pupil's. I think is is the same reasoning behind why alot of girls/woman would fall for a doctor or someone of this stature. Also invarible we nearly alway's want something that we can't have. These inafatuations tend to be quite short lived so riding it out and not acting on it is always the best option.
All the best x
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