A
female
age
30-35,
*all3rbby
writes:My boyfriend of four months and I broke up last night. He is 17 and I just turned 16. We fought a lot, and now I need help on getting over him.He said that he wasn't happy, and left me. He has made a lot of mistakes in the relationship, including talking about me behind my back, talking/receiving pictures of other girls.. including his ex! Who is still in love with him.I always take him back, but now I need to stop. I want to move on, but i'm scared i'll end up taking him back.After we broke up, he texted me 'Please don't let me walk away' as if he still wants to be with me, but then he doesn't. I don't understand that.He's done so many hurtful things and I want him to realize that he has walked all over me, and now I've finally been pushed too far away.I read an article about how to get over you ex boyfriends, and it said to cut off contact with him completely. Should I do that?He's been telling his ex that he misses her and wants her back. He always told her about our problems. Obviously I've been letting it go. I feel like I need that 'security blanket'.. that 'Yes I have a boyfriend.' How can I make it seem like i'm over it, moving on? And if he goes back to his ex, what do I do then?
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female
reader, Viv Acious  +, writes (11 November 2010):
Good for you! Don't be tempted to answer his messages and just move on.
As for his ex-girlfriend, you have to have a sense of compassion for her position. She has probably been as shabbily treated and led on by him as you have. Poor her for not being able to get over him and not being able to see through him. The poor girl is probably deluded that they will get back together and he will just love the power and attention she gives him. It's all a great big, ego, power trip.
I hope it works out for you. Stay strong and let us know how it's going!xx
A
female
reader, ball3rbby +, writes (10 November 2010):
ball3rbby is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ thewalkin'dude & Viv Acious
Thank you both so much, you're already helping me get over him. He has texted me, and I actually found it in myself to not reply. I deleted all of his pictures from everything. All of his saved messages. Everything. Besides his Facebook & number. He never gets on Facebook, and I never text first. Plus if he texts me and his number isn't saved, i'll have to ask who it is.
Viv Acious- I know that she is still in love with him because she still wears his clothes, his necklace, and tries desperately to talk to him.
Oh, I forgot to mention that he forgot my birthday on the third... hmm.
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A
female
reader, Viv Acious +, writes (9 November 2010):
Hello. Sorry to hear about your break-up and I know how hard it can be.
Firstly, I have to agree with 'thewalkin'dude' - just delete the number, remove all social networking sites. You are going to have take a deep breath and mean bloody business.
So, what delightful speciman of manhood is your Ex? Hmm.
a) Runs you down behind your back. Wow - definitely a keeper. There really is nothing quite like a two-faced, back-stabbing little turd shoving a knife in your back, is there? Is that what you call a mistake? Where I come from that is a declaration of war. So, no loss there.
b) talks to other girls and receives pictures from them. Well, nothing says I love you more than chatting to other women and receiving pictures. He really is simply a gorgeous bunny-rabbit, isn't he?
c) leaves you and then texts you to basically chase after him. He is complete narcissist. I would suggest you google how to deal or cope with a narcissist - it will give you a better understanding of this nutter.
d) He is also wants to get back with his ex-girlfriend. I don't know how you know that his ex is in love with him or that he wants to get back with her - i can only assume he told you this.
You know what. Forget him! His behaviour is loathesome. The most important thing here is how you build up your self-confidence and your self-esteem and how you can improve your self-image. You are worth so MUCH more than this - you really, really are. Don't let an immature, horny, back-stabbing, disloyal, manipulative little gameplayer muck you around. Deep breath, hold you head high and delete..delete...delete.....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): Ok, this guy is kind of using emotional blackmail. When you've tried to move on he's text you trying to give you a guilt trip. When i was trying to get over a guy in the past i found the best and only way really, was to cut contact. It might sound extreme but if you really want to get over him it's effective if you are strong willed and stick to it.
First, delete his number. This will help because even if you are tempted to text or call him you won't be able to. Next, if you are friends with him on facebook, myspace or any other social networking site, delete him. You don't want to be tempted to look at his profile and risk seeing something that will upset you and set you back even further.
It may sound impossible, but if you do these things, don't think about it just do it, after a few weeks you will start to feel better. Just think, would you really want to get back with someone who would mess you around emotionally like he has been doing? Talking to his ex behind your back, having pictures of other girls on his phone. If you really think about it, what exactly are you losing here? Not, much. Just a guy who is obviously still immature and unable to commit, it's not worth it in the long run. Good luck with everything.
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