A
female
age
26-29,
*lackCupid
writes:Please help .. im so sick and tired of this!My bestfriend's boyfriend was the boy version of me and we began to talk and got to know each other more and more. I started to like him, the feelings grew stronger and i was pretty sure he liked me too. He dumped my bestfriend and I wondered if we would still talk; we talked more than ever (we actually no exaggeration had a 15 hour convo!!!)The night before I went on holiday he told me he liked me and I told him I liked him. But when I came back after 15 days he was totally different! He went out with the biggest slut in the town, he ignored me and when I told him how I felt he said "Whoa, we are friends?v".After about two months I gave up and accepted it. A month ago he started talking to me again and apologized for everything and said he wanted to be friends again (so of course me being totally and utterly still in love with him I said ok). But he let me down again, he then apologized again and I said don't feel like you have to talk to me blah blah blah and he said no i wanna talk and has been there for me and we still talk (not like old times tho) and my friends keep saying that he has a crush on me but I don't know? He puts 'xxxxx' on the end of every fb message and if I put more or less on - even if only by one - he picks up on it and send back the exact same number .. I have a few questions just about personal opinion really...Do you think I am right to not trust him fully?Do you think my friends may be right?What would you do and say to him if you were in my position?Any personal comments are welcome.. just really needed to share with people, thanks for reading 33
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 October 2011):
Two wrongs never make a right :) (as to the Girl code) Because others do stupid/hurtful stuff never justify you to do them, if you know what I mean.
This is the age where you start to realize that having a moral compass is a good thing ( and I don't mean you have to be "holier than thou" - just meaning that life is about doing the right thing, not for others, but for yourself.)
And THIS guy is NOT worth the hassle/drama that can arise from it.
You deserve a guy who wants you for you, not just because you are convinient.
A
female
reader, BlackCupid +, writes (25 October 2011):
BlackCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHoneypie, i agree with the fall back girl thing.
Me and my BFF at the time aren't even close anymore and she's a slutty bitch now so I'm not the one being bitchy here, she went out with the guy i went out with twice and liked for 9 months so she back stabbed me first ..
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 October 2011):
First off.. Girl Code.. YOU do not date or go after your BFF's BF.. big no no.
Also, don't date BFF's ex's.. It's awkward, can cause drama you don't want and besides if he wasn't "good" enough for your BFF, is he good enough for you? IF he didn't treat the BFF good, how will you know he will treat you any better?
The guy doesn't know WHAT he wants. One thing he DOES know is that he likes attention and a lot of it, from as many girls as possible. He is not looking for a real relationship. I doubt he is even mature enough for one.
I think he likes you keep you around as a fall back girl. Someone who can "boost" his ego when he doesn't have another girl on his arm.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (25 October 2011):
Hi there. If your friends said he has a crush on you, well then that might be the truth.
It does seem that he likes you, because he wants to still be friends and talk to you. So it's obvious he has some feelings for you at least.
Perhaps from now on, you could leave all of the initiating of contact - to him. In other words, let him make first contact.
The reason I say to let him contact you, is because of his track record so far. You disappear for 15 days for a holiday, so he went out with someone else during that time. Then he did something similar shortly after that yet again.
Apparently, he isn't locking himself into any kind of relationship just yet, so he's undecided as to what he really wants.
There's not a lot you can really do about that, as it's his decision regarding his life.
So in the meantime, be friendly and respectful towards him but don't say how you feel about him, because then he might start taking you for granted. He is kind of doing that now a little, don't you think? I am of course, referring to the going away then coming back thing, that he does.
He might be doing this, while he is deciding what it is he wants from you - as far as a relationship is concerned, that is.
All you can do now, is get on with your life and enjoy yourself. See your friends and go out with them and have fun.
What I am meaning by this, is DON'T be too available to him. Let him know you aren't just going to sit around and wait for him to make up his mind. Your actions will tell the story for you.
Do not let him take you granted any more. You deserve to be happy and you deserve better than half-heartedness.
When he knows that you could be slipping away from him, it might just prompt him to do some serious thinking - and soon!
Besides, if he's not careful, someone else might just steal you right out from under nose! He wouldn't want that, surely.
Good luck.
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