| A
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: Please help me Agony Aunts and Uncles any and all advice is greatly appreciated and needed.So, had a bad break up three months ago, we were together for almost eleven months and it really hit me hard. Until I started to realize, we just weren't right for each other and he just doesn't care about me. Except then he started appearing everywhere. He was already in my chem class, my history, and my chorus (yes he's a singer), but everywhere I went he somehow found ways to position himself directly in front of me. One time I even saw him doubling back past the courtyard where I was sketching my Art final during study hall. It used to hurt like crazy seeing him over and over again, just five feet away flaunting me, now it mildly annoys me and there are times when I don't even care, I stood directly behind him in the cafeteria twice now and not cared because I was too engrossed in my friends' conversation until she pointed out his presence and offered to block him from view. I think its safe to say I do not love him, I often pictured him asking to get back together and the answer had always been yes up until about a month ago, then it became No, but I meant yes, and then finally No, not interested. Never look back one of my guy-friends told me, if it hurt you like this the first time, its not worth the heartache again.I started going with a guy I'd been friends with for a few months this week and he's sometimes just too much of a sweetheart to believe. He walks me to classes, to my locker, and hugs me at every opportunity, and we go at each other like crazy we love joking around, but our problem? Most of the girls I talk to swear he's a player who'll leave me in two weeks with an excuse, I would like not to believe it, but I've seen one of the dramas he's had with my own eyes. My dad did not approve of him when I mentioned liking him a couple weeks ago and showed him his facebook, and I talked to my best friend "Mea", who unbeknown to me dropped her notebook with our written conversation about my dad's disapproval. You can guess who picked it up and read it, yes, my current boyfriend "Ken" we'll call him. So you know what Ken did? He changed his facebook. I asked him not to, I told him I would never ask anyone to change for me. He insisted he wanted to prove he was a good guy, he even asked to meet my dad. Now my dad is a perfect example of what happens when you combine an overprotective dad and a redneck. When my last boyfriend came to pick me up for the movies, my dad was waiting for him, rifle in lap, others on the table, Trace Adkins blaring away on the stereo. I told Ken this, and it didn't bother him, he still said he wanted go clear the air with him. He no longer swears on his facebook and he has never swore when I'm around, even if he's with his friends. We haven't promised each other anything, we haven't said I love you and I don't want to push him. I don't want him to say it unless he means it, because I'm sure not going to say it either if it isn't the truth. I don't think I love him yet, he really means a lot to me and I like him more with everyday but I am scared to move the relationship forward, I'm scared to scare him away and I'm scared I'll lose him without reason as most of the girls are saying. I try to ignore them but there are facts I can't, the fact that he's dated *all* of them for less than two weeks and the fact that four girls who know him but haven't dated him were already jumping down his throat saying they'll kill him if he hurts me. Up until this last semester I'd never even talked to him, so I'm not sure what to believe, but I do know we get along really well, and I care deeply for him, and he insists the same. He teases me one minute and holds me the next, It's gotten to the point where he'll say guess what and I'll ask what, thinking to myself, don't you dare tell me you love me if you don't! thankfully he hasn't yet, just made a few other jokes. I don't think he is, but everyone insists he's a player. I don't want to leave one jerk for the next, yet I'm already starting to fall for Ken, if he is a player I want to get out of the game. So my question is, am I ready to take a chance on Ken? Should I do something or just play it by ear and see if we are still together in a few weeks? Could he really be serious about proving he's a good guy (which he seems to be) or just up to something by asking to meet my dad and earn his approval?I'd be really grateful to anyone who could help :)
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best friend, facebook, get back together, I love you, player Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (13 March 2011):
 A player is willing to call your Dad's bluff. Lots of fathers tell boys "you hurt my little girl, I'll hurt you" which is what the rifle implied with the last b/f, but a real player knows that Dad goes to jail, not him. So his offer to meet your Dad is all fluff.
Listen to your friends. Ken has enough of a track record that you should steer clear of him. Him putting the moves on you costs him nothing and gives him the thrill of the chase. You giving in to him costs you a whole lot more. Don't even go there.
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