A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:i know this sounds stupid, but I'm genuinely curious... exactly how painful is sex? i mean, does it compare to anything? i plan in saving myself until I'm 18, or even marriage. but i still wont to know because knowing me, I'll hate it and probably ask him to stop. would that be a turnoff? I'm just really scared that i will do everything wrong and that it will hurt so much.thank you. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Cupid_or_Stupid +, writes (27 March 2011):
 My ' first time' lasted a matter of seconds because I couldn't bare the pain. My second time (with the same guy as before) hurt too but soon it numbed and then it was just plain boring.It completely put me off sex for ages because I just thought it was painful and completely boring and a waste of time.Then when I started seeing my boyfriend and we decided to have sex (he was still a virgin) and it was COMPLETELY different to my time before with the guy I wasn't seeing. It really does make all the difference in the world who you do it with. So wait for someone special because I wish I had. Take it slow and don't rush and it won't hurt as much. 'Preparing yourself' is a good option as some people have already suggested and also make sure you have lots of foreplay before your first time to relax you more. If you get yourself worked up before sex by worrying it'll hurt you'll tense your body up and it will hurt more. Make sure he does things to take your mind off it for the first time like kissing your neck, chest etc. Even looking into his eyes would be comforting. If your first time is with that special someone then you'll naturally be more relaxed and it will be more special :)
A
female
reader, LiLy_16  +, writes (25 March 2011):
 I know exactly how you feel, I am as confused and scared about this thing as you are. I am not going to have sex til marriage and i want to stay pure yet, but I will have to do IT oneday anyway and I keep wondering what in the world it will be like. I am so scared that it will hurt. I am scared of pain.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): Definitely wait until you're older. Do it with someone who really loves you, he will do what you need. Even if it is painful at all, he can stop and it can be a gradual process. You may not have any pain or very little, many women don't. Having sex too young will be more of a cause to have pain as you're not ready emotionally or physically at that point in your life.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 March 2011):
 If you are gonna brainwash yourself for the next 5 years into believing that you'll hate it and that you'll find it very painful- that's exactly what it will happen : it is called a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There are a lot of myths and old wives tales about the first time, it's difficult to make a stat because every girl is different, but many girls feel just some mild discomfort, not even pain, and some don't even feel any discomfort at all. For some other girls, yes, losing their virginity may be more difficult, but it all depends a lot upon how much relaxed and aroused you are, it's really a mind over matter kind of thing.
That's why it's a good idea to wait until you really really feel completely ready, physically and emotionally- when it's something that YOU 'll really want ,without any pressure from partners or peers- then it will most probbaly be a cinch.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2011): Completely depends on the individual person. You might be lucky and it won't hurt at all. The majority of the time though it will hurt quite a bit. Even if you are very aroused and use lubrication, it will still more than likely hurt and you'll probably bleed a bit but it'll be nowhere near as painful if you're very nervous/not ready and try to have sex anyway. Then you might find it's so painful you'll have to tell your partner to stop.
No it really doesn't compare to anything, unless you've ever had pain putting tampons in and then imagine it being (in most cases) quite a bit worse than that.
As you said wait until you're older and with the right person and maybe then you won't be as nervous. If it really gets to you, then perhaps experiment with vibrators/toys etc beforehand.
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