A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don't know what to do about my boyfriend as he acts really suspiciously. He gets lots of texts from some girl he knows who apparantly 'lives in london'. He tells me that they're nothing but friends, but I find this really hard to believe as I have found pictures of her in her underwear on his computer, they were from before I met him, and he claimed he didnt realise they were still there. Also he left his emails up one day and there was an email saved from her quoting a love song and she called him 'babe'. This was also from before I knew him, but if there was something between them before I knew him then why is she still texting him now? It seems really suspicious to me as she when she texts him he always hides his phone away from me and is very secretive about it. He says that it's just because he likes his messages to be private. And I think because I've already confronted him about it before that I'm being paranoid and I have no trust for him. But to be honest by the way he's acting I dont know anyone who wouldn't be having second thoughts. Now that he knows I'm suspicious, he keeps on saying to me that nobody texts him anymore and jokes that my friends are the only ones who do to get in contact with me as I havent got a phone. But I text him yesterday and he's deleted his inbox. I've also noticed that he rang her when I asked him to go the shop for me, why can't he have a conversation with this girl infront of me?? Please someone help me in this akward situation.
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female
reader, porkchop.xo  +, writes (28 July 2008):
 One thing I believe is if you can't trust someone you shouldn't be in a relationship with them. I have said it to so many friends on many occasions and they hardly ever listen and usually it ends the same way... with a broken heart. You remind me a bit of my sister always checking texts and emails/ computer files... searching for something wrong. The sad thing is you can become obssesed with it, my sister did and it drove her nuts she had to find something to get mad about even when her bf had done nothing wrong.
All I can suggest is ask your bf if the three of you can go out to dinner or something together, if they are "just friends" as he says there should be no problem with hanging out together... seeing them together can help you realize if he has feelings for this girl more than what he is telling you if so leave him because there is no point in staying around with someone you don't trust, and you deserve better.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (28 July 2008):
 Yeah, sounds to me like this is NOT an innocent relationship between your boyfriend and this girl. I vote ditch him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2008): You have to let him go, not because you want to but because you will never find a good man that you deserve if you let creeps damage your self-esteem with their selfishness. If he really loved you he would never harm a hair on your head, whether emotionally or physically. He does not love you he is enjoying his games. He would go out of his way to make you feel the best girl in the world if he were the one. If you continue you will may never trust another man. Which is a shame because quite a lot of them are great. Don't hang on trying to "win" over the other girl. Set him free to be with her. I bet you he will try to get you back. Refuse. Divert yourself with some good company but don't fall into bed with anyone else until you know they are perfect BEFORE you do it, not HOPE they are afterwards.
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A
female
reader, Curiousbynature +, writes (28 July 2008):
I think he is lying. Pictures, texts, and he is hiding things from you. You know whats going on. Sorry though, it sucks!
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