A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I’m 27 and I have failed at everything I’ve tried. 20, tried to move out from home, couldn’t because my mom got very ill and needed care dad couldn’t provide because he had to work to keep our heads above water. Then dad lost his job too and got a heart attack on top of all that. I put my college education on hold to help out so we could keep the house. In september we had to sell the house anyway, because I just couldn’t make enough money. We applied for everything we could apply for to help and it wasn't enough. The house got sold in december and I thought I'd try to finish college so I can get a job, but the school tells me more than half my grades are not valid anymore because I stopped for 2 years (even though at the time the school assured me my results were valid for at least 4 years). I can't afford to redo two years. Desperate and out of money, I applied for the military. Everything seemed to be going well. I aced the tests. I had the job application conversation and did so well on that they basically congratulated me. Then I got to my last psychological evaluation and this 25 y/o guy who sailed right through uni and got his job straight out tells me I am forever rejected from ever applying to the military again, because he thinks my life experiences make me a potentially unstable person even though I have no history of depression or any of that. I’m very well read and I was very motivated during the application process. The military was always my “if all else fails” plan and now that’s gone too. I can send a letter to ask to be re-evaluated by someone else, but requests like that usually get denied, and while I'm gonna send one anyway, I'm not betting on that to work out. Even if it does, at best I'll have to wait a year, and by then I'll be 28 and deemed too old. I don’t know what to do now. I literally feel like my life is over before it began. I run out of money next month, and we have to move out into a new house we can afford in 2 months or we’re all gonna be on the streets. I mean, all this “you make your own luck” stuff sounds great, but I’ve tried it and it hasn’t been working out so well so far. I’ve always been positive. I’ve always been that person who says “don’t give up” and “go chase your dreams”, but I’m starting to wonder if all that is just for people in cheesy hollywood movies. Sorry for the ramble. I'm just very tired.
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female
reader, meccamega  +, writes (20 January 2015):
Hi don't give up! I'm almost 28 and had to defer studies last year due to having a baby and illness. I had much go wrong too. I've reapplied this year again though. My sister in law also has returned to uni and she's 30 this year. This isn't unusual anymore.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2015):
Please don't let it all get on top of you, sometimes it feels like everything has gone wrong and you've failed. But you can make yourself ill if you let it stress you out too much, without health you will be in trouble.
Like you I persued a similar a career as my 'back up plan' and failed at the last hurdle. I tried again and passed but then failed on medical because I was too stressed out.The whole experience (combined with finishing uni not getting the job I studied for, then doing a million different rubbish jobs to get cash) literally drove me to a nervous breakdown, I was obsessed by getting a decent job and money.
I doubt at 27 'this is it' for you. I hope not because I'm the same age I this certainly aint the end of the road for me! I wouldn't say give up on the dreams, but maybe adapt what you do.
you never know if life will get better or worse, but one things certain- it always changes. In a years time things will be different for you than what they are now you can always count on that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2015): Your post is very moving.
I can feel the weariness on your shoulders through the page.
I can't say I have been where you've been but I just want to give you hope. It gets better. Genuinely it does.
There are situations where you think 'could it possibly get any worse' and it does and you think how the hell will I have the energy to face tomorrow. You don't know where to start. I know that feeling. But it does get better. Just keep soldiering on.
You've been heaven sent to your parents. They couldn't be prouder of you than they are now. Their son made so many sacrifices for them and I'm sure they say a prayer of thanks every single day. What's more rewarding in life that serving the people you love to such an extent? One day, a beautiful woman will love this quality about you and you will have a beautiful family together. Stick to that vision.
In the mean time,do as much as you can to keep yourself going.
There are several ways you can fund college;
1) Needs-based bursary, find out if any colleges around you offer these to pay for your education
2) You are very articulate, have you checked to see whether you qualify for an academic scholarship?
3)Crowdfunding - there are many crowd funding sites where thousands of people donate a little bit each to help for a worthy cause. God knows you've been stepped up to the plate when faced with difficult choices that robbed you of opportunities. People may help you fund for your education and one day when you are successful, you too can give back.
4) Distance learning - it is usually cheaper and allows you to work full time if you organise your time well.
As an alternative start looking to gain experience in a career that requires no further education but where you can advance with experience and expertise. I'm not sure what country you are in but some of the best sales people I know have no tertiary education. Find out which jobs match your skills and then see if you can start at the bottom and work your way up.
You are only 27. You are not old. Start living your life today. Don't wait until things are perfect to enjoy the little moments. Have hobbies; keep in touch with friends. Keep LIVING. Don't hide away drowning in the weight on your shoulders. Sometimes complete strangers will take a load off your shoulders just by saying hello on the street.
There are organisations for carers. Get in touch with other carers in your community and have some time to unwind with someone who understands what you are going through.
Good luck friend and from the bottom of my heart I wish you a break. Keep on keeping on. The break you need may take a while but you will only get there if you stay the course. So far you are doing really well. Many people will not have been as resilient as you have been and I am certain that a lovely woman will be happy to call you her partner one day.
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