A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I have a problem that is basically killing me now. A few months ago I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the furst time and I lost my erection. From there on I had a niggling thing about it. However subsequent sessions were better and I sustained an erection! Last week however I had sex for the first time and honestly we had problems before hand. The first time we started foreplay, someone came in to the house and then left, then we broke apart. The second time we were just about to have sex, I had a condom failure so I had to walk to my house to get another. Then after finally managing to penetrate (fair few giggles haha) I was hard for a while but I had no sensasrion through the condom and lost the erection. Now I just worry about my sexuality all the time and why my first experiences of sex have been unpleasurable.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2013): Stop worrying OP, this is how sex goes in the beginning. It's not like some top gun moment with a Berlin track playing in the background, it's awkward, fumbly, messy but it gets easier. It's like riding a bike OP, at the start you fall off, you may wobble a lot but once you learn how to ride you never forget and it's easy and just like a bike need practice if you want to be really good.
I found in the early days good music really provides a nice atmosphere so maybe put some on. I never really had performance anxiety because long before I ever had intercourse I learned how to give orgasms through oral and give plenty of oral, I was lucky enough to discover when I was your age that most women can't orgasm during intercourse and need clitoral stimulation so I made sure I did that a lot. Bar the odd woman who doesn't want to be touched after she orgasms most really appreciate being given one before sex or after. Intercourse is not always the main course to women in the same way as it is us OP. Foreplay shouldn't be only about the build up to sex, in that way the term foreplay can be misleading. As for what' happening with you, welcome to real world OP, this is how it goes when you just start. Regardless of what the movies tell you and what others may say, sex in the beginning is awkward, weird and messy for most of us. I mean I accidentally kneed my first partners clit trying to move into a different position at the very start. Nice way to kill the mood that haha.
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