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female
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anonymous
writes: My girlfriend and i have a really close rel'ship. i.e we tell eachother like everything, well at least i thought we did. everythings been so perfect but today i was bored on the comp and looked at her inbox and found messages from her ex, asking how she was etc and that her ex wanted to meet up with her. she said she mightand where should they meet etc. i txt my gf and told her i'd seen her messages. I dont reckon she'd cheat on me with her but i just feel so hurt that she didn't even tell me her ex got in contact. Do you reckon i'm going over the top? i really dont reckon i can trust her anymore.
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female
reader, matron +, writes (7 June 2006):
 Hi, you're not going over the top i'd feel betrayed and question the trust but she probably has the same issue with you, you invaded her privacy. Did you have any doubts before the emails? is that why you looked at her mail? you cant change whats happened, i'm sure you've both discussed everything, she probably didn't tell you about her ex cause she knew that you would be upset but its still deceit if she had planned to meet up with her. You need reassurance about your relationship, get it all off your chest and sit and have a chat with her, perhaps you could suggest that you both meet up with her ex for a drink! i really hope you can get your relationship back on track. good luck x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2006): Your girlfriend should have really told you but she probably thought you would react badly - as you have done.
Are you both quite young? little mistakes like this are normal, it's part of learning how to act in a relationship.
If you don't suspect her of cheating, and she hasn't shown any signs of still wanting to be with her ex then I don't think you have any thing to worry about.
Personally speaking, I'm still in contact with an ex, it's purely friendship. My girlfriend knows I still see her, and she is ok(ish) with it.
I'm surprised she isn't mad at you for going through her inbox though? Trust me mate, it's not something you want to get in to the habit of doing, ok? :)
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