A
female
age
36-40,
*unty_rach
writes:This isn't really a question, it's just something that has shocked me and I would like to hear other people's views.Basically I can't get over the amount of people who don't know about the basics of sex. For instance people who think they can get pregnant by kissing even though they are virgins and people who think when a girl orgasms it is like when she pees. Seriously, what is going on with sex ed! How can people not know simple sex facts???????!!!!!!It is scary and it is probably why there are so many teenagers who are either mums or dads. Worrying!
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female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (8 January 2009):
aunty_rach is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni never said anything about teens not having sex. i just don't understand why some teens and even adults don't have basic sex knowledge. like for instance someone asked if women have sperm? seriously! that is just worrying.
A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (6 January 2009):
aunty_rach is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoh i do think they need to learn about body parts, i think most kids that age learn that anyway. i think it is important that they know the difference between a girl and a boy too. but the sex stuff is a no no.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (6 January 2009):
 I agree that 5 is too young to be talking about explicit sexual details. But it is not too young to be taught what all your body parts are called, their proper names, and certainly not any inappropriate slang terms. It is an age where the child should know what is considered an okay touch, like a hand on the arm, and one which is not an okay touch, such as genital contact. They can be taught that certain parts of the body are for private. (This can stop the embarassing scenes of little kids with their hands in the wrong place, like at a school play. Boy, do I have a story about that one, but it's not mine to tell.)
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): Personally it I think teachers are embarressed to talk to their students about sex and everything surronding it. The extent of my Sex Ed was - Wear a Condom!!
I agree with Machael, if parents and the schools don't start teaching kids more about sex they arent going to know where to put it or what to do with it. I mean c'mon parents do you really want porn educating your kids?
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female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (6 January 2009):
aunty_rach is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni don't agree with little kids being taught the facts of life too early, such as this crazy government scheme to teach 5 year olds about sex! but i do think kids who are early teens need to have the talk with their parents or a teacher if a parent is not around. it is just worrying that some kids panic over something like kissing. i feel for them. sure i had a crap sex ed at school, but i heard the basics from my parents, the rest i learn't from watching sex and the city.lol. crazy i know, but when i was a teen that was like my sex ed. it is just so wrong that schools do not educate kids properly and parents are too afraid to talk to their kids about one of the most important things they will experience.
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female
reader, LoonyLunagirl +, writes (6 January 2009):
 Wow. That was an excellent piece, Tisha-1. Loved it! Kudos...It appears I don't really need to say anything, since Tisha-1 totally dominated this post. Amazing. I agree 100%. All the way. :)Once again. kudos.*applause*
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 January 2009):
Interesting question, or is it a non-question really? ;)
I too find it very worrying that there does seem to be a general lack of knowledge out there, but do keep in mind that this is a site where people come with problems. It's probably not ideal that the posters have to ask here, but it's better than making avoidable mistakes and permanently altering a future.
I have spent a little time thinking about this question. I think we can break things down into two categories. There's sex education and then there is the moral/ethical education surrounding actions of which sex is a part. Many people get very emotional about the moral part and fail to see that just understanding how things work doesn't necessarily mean that you'll engage in the behavior.
In fact, I think it's kind of a form of child abuse not to ensure that children know about how their bodies work, about how pregnancy happens, about sexually transmitted diseases. Obviously, the parents should also transmit their moral and ethical values as well. So the children have a solid foundation to build on. They may not make the choices the parents want them to, but at least they'll be working from a position of strength and knowledge, with values backing those up, and that is a whole lot better than guessing or hoping or wishing or pretending that pregnancy or an STD won't happen to them. The whole ostrich defensive posture isn't a great way to get through life. You spend too much time with your heinie up in the air and dirt in your eyes and nose.
I remember being in AP Biology as a senior in high school, way back when (that's advanced placement, as in I was a brainy nerd). There was a textbook that our teacher really wanted to use. It was the latest, most comprehensive and best textbook out there. The problem with it was that in its at least 800 pages (I can't remember, maybe it was 1000) there was ONE page, just one page, that listed birth control methods. So we're all of legal age, the entire class, and the school system won't allow that text to be used. Because of that one page. (This was publc school.) The teacher tried to convince the powers-that-be in the school hierarchy that she would carefully remove that offending page with a razor blade, so that none of us would be exposed to the potentially dangerous knowledge of how to prevent a pregnancy. And the P-T-B said no. I mean, come ON. So we had to use an inferior textbook.
Funny thing was that the textbook was the required one for the freshman biology class at university. And that was a private, Catholic university. So go figure.
Again, I think people get confused between teaching the morality of sexuality--the what you should do when and with whom--and teaching about the biology of sexuality-- the function of the various organs involved. Big difference, to my way of thinking.
So anyway, where was I supposed to learn about birth control? Obviously, the school system had decided that this was the parent's job. Now, I love my parents. But neither of them knew very much about biology. And they had gone to school in the 50s, and things had changed a lot since that time.
So bless them, they figured out that they didn't know enough, so they went out and got some books about sexuality. And my mom read them and would talk with me about things. But I got most of my information at the time from those books, as I went ahead and read them myself.
So I encourage people to learn and study, especially if they are considering becoming sexually active. I do not presume to tell them what their moral code should be telling them. I just want them to have the facts. If I have protected one girl from HPV or other diseases/infections or an unwanted pregnancy, then my time here has been worth it.
There are some good resources out there. Plannedparenthood.org has information for teens. They have a slightly kitschy or corny but very educational video here: http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
Webmd.com has information that has been reviewed by medical professionals. I know there are other sites out there too.
Just because a young person learns about how the sex organs work doesn't mean that they will immediately go out there and begin sleeping around. In fact, I think that hearing about everything that can be passed around will keep some celibate until they are in a committed relationship. I remember this one class in Microbiology--holy moley, that was enough to put you off even shaking hands with anybody!
So again, I try to pass on knowledge without too much judgement. Sometimes when someone insists on having unprotected sex, my attitude might not be as placid, but I try to rein it in....
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): I'm a teenager myself, and all we had was a scientific sex education block which lasted 3 or 4 hour-long lessons way back in Year 7 (7th Grade). I think there was an optional class throughout the same year which went into more detail but from memory hardly anyone took it, and those who did only did it for a laugh.Now that im a bit older and wiser i find sex education quite interesting, and have learned a great deal from websites like this, so much so that when my folks sat me down for "the talk" i knew more than they did.The sad truth is that many teenagers are misinformed, or not informed at all, because of how rubbish the system is. You cant blame the people who post stupid questions on here, because its not their fault. I dont believe that this is the real problem though. There are two girls who i know quite well at school who are/have been pregnant, and as far as i know they both knew that uncontrolled sex would lead to pregnancy. I think that the attitude among many sexually active teenagers is that they see it happening to others, but they dont believe it can happen to them.Anyways, ill stop now cos im sounding like my parents...
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male
reader, daletom +, writes (5 January 2009):
In case you're wondering, I don't think this is an entirely new development. Over the years (I'm 57) my acquaintances have included an alarming number of totally uninformed, as well as sadly misinformed, individuals. I have no idea whether the situation is improving or deteriorating.
On the one hand, it's encouraging to know there are places where people can ask - on the other hand, the lack of knowledge about even the basic biology IS disturbing. One factor that probably makes the situation worse is the glamorization and superficiality of sex in popular culture and media. It's not just the sexy models (both male and female) with artificially enhanced features selling everything imaginable product; situation comedies trivialize sexual relationships; and the standard ending for a LOT of movies, TV shows, and novels is something like ". . . and after overcoming all these obstacles they went to bed together and lived happily ever after.".
Even pre-teens absorb these messages long before they are able to grasp the biological, social, or emotional foundations of sexuality. All they know is that sex is some kind of magical and mysterious tool that fixes everything - and, fixes it to their own selfish satisfactions.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2009): haha, I have to agree there, I'm fourteen and up until I was 13 I didn't even know anything whatsoever except for the absolute basics, not even about protection or anything, there's nobody there to teach us and as a girl it's not something we talk about as friends. My first lesson at school about it all was sometime last year. Everyone laughed at me when they found out, I think they should introduce it in schools (I'm not sure if they have now or not) my sister's nearly 11 and doesn't even know what sex is. I suppose in some ways it's good for some people; helps prevent underage sex in some cases? Definitely not all :/
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reader, The Gentle Man +, writes (5 January 2009):
 The main problems are:1. The sex education delivered in schools is taught by teachers that do not necessarily know all the facts themselves.2. The parents tend to know even less than their children past the obvious wear a condom and that will prevent doomsday.Sex education taught by 'old' people is not the best way to engage young people. Young people (18-25) should teach sex ed in an informal manner. It's just not high on the government's hit list.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2009): As a 16 (almost 17) year old teen girl I gotta agree... well I know the basics but honestly we never had any proper sex ed at school, only 1 day dedicated to sex and drugs but to be honest we didn't really learn much at all.I know pretty everything I know about sex from TV and because me and my friends talk about it like all the time. ^^
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 January 2009):
 Yes very worrying. My kids have been out of public school for more than a decade so I'm not even sure whether they are teaching sex ed anymore, but boy, you have to wonder where the parents are don't you? And with all these kids glued to the Internet you'd think they would do a little research just out of curiosity. I remember reading the racy parts of "Peyton Place" and such.
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male
reader, MichaelS2 +, writes (5 January 2009):
 Yes I am amazed at some of the things that people post on the walls as well.However it is best that they ask instead of go uninformed.
Even if it is a stupid question it is better to inform them instead of them have no idea.
Sex-ED and Parents do need to step up their game big time.It's probably why teenage pregnancy is rising as well as sexually transmitted diseases.
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