A
male
age
30-35,
*Jmappy
writes:Hey all.Three years ago, in the midst of highschool, I had recently just settled down into a new group of friends after moving, and all was well. I became amazingly close with this girl, who I'll call "E," and within months, the two of us were inseperable best friends. We did everything with each other - and yes, I did end up falling in love with her. I confessed to her my feelings, only to find that she in turn felt for me, and our strong friendship blossomed into an amazing relationship. After three months to the day, however, she asked if she could have some time for herself, I respected that and E and I broke up, still promising to be best friends (though on the inside, it killed me.) She later went on to see another guy, "J," who was a complete jackass and used her sexually. I myself attempted to date twice over the next nine months, but both attempts failed as I realised I was still so incredibly in love with E. A year had then passed when I decided to both confront E about not only how I felt for her, but I also helped her to see that J was hurting her; using her for his own desires while he saw other girls on the side. She eventually saw that I was right after she saw first handed the things that J had been doing, and they ended up breaking up. She seemed happy again, and the two of us grew closer still. It was an amazing thing, really - she later confessed to me that she still loved me. I was beside myself - she was the motivation in my life and it was so wonderful to nearly have that back. She and I did not get back together, yet, as she had said that because of what J had done, she needed time to repeice herself, to let herself trust a man again and once more, I respected that. But herein lies the problem - a mutual friend of ours, "A," had befriended her quite closely recently, and I'd become concerned about how close he really was. He seemed to like her quite a bit - so I was up front with him and I asked him how he felt - I wad right, A did like her - but I'm not the sort of guy who just tells another guy to fuck off - I mean, she and I weren't even back together yet, so I couldn't exactly tell him to lay off my girl, since she wasn't even mine, at the time. Instead, I was open with him - he was my friend too, after all - about how I felt. I told A that though I would respect the fact that he liked E as well, that I was still deeply in love with her and that she had told me she had loved me still. Now A was J's polar opposite - considerate, loving, attractive, foreign - you name it. He was two years my junior and even a month younger than E herself - and though he and I had been good friends for some time, he was serious competition for me - he was much more handsome/fit, he was English so he was "exotic" in a sense, he had very leniant family that let him take her all sorts of places like Ireland and such that I couldn't afford to, and he was just as caring and sweet as I could ever be. Sure enough, we ended up in a friendly rivalry of sorts, vying for her attention - and gradually, my heart began to crumble as I watched her spend less and less time with me and more and more with A. When she kissed him publically, well aware that I could see her, I knew that I had lost and I recluded into depression. In the meanwhile E and I remained the inseperable best friends we'd always been - though while she may have valued me so highly above her other friends, as the days turned into months and the months into years, my affection for her has only grown deeper and more painful with time. She's all I think about - and no matter how much I've attempted to move on, I still find myself wishing I was beside her every month. A year and a half had passed since then, and she and he were very much in love with each other as they had bern from day one - and much to my suprise and dismay he'd become an even better man in the time since then. Eventually against all advice I'd been given, I broke down and told E how miserable my life was without her. She expressed great sympathy for me, which was genuine, and told me that if nothing else, she'd always be here for me and that she'd always love me - "as the greatest friend she'd ever known." When I asked her if I was right in saying that she would always love A and she would never feel that way towards me, she replied, "I... wouldn't count on it...?" I then apologised for breaking down in front of her, and spent the next few months trying to distance myself from her, which only seemed to make things worse. The two of us, still the inseperable best friends we've always been, which brings us to today, a few days shy of three years since she and I split, and I just don't know what to do. She still loves A deeply, and his feelings for her are tenfold, but after three years I am still hopelessly and madly in love with her - I don't want to lose her as my best, most trusted and more often than not only friend that I have, but I love her as so, so much more than that and as time passes, whether around her or distanced my love only grows deeper and I just cannot seem to move on...is it wrong of me to not want to give up on her, for fear if she and he might, though very unlikely, break up so that I might be there to pick up the pieces? A part of me just wants to let go and see her just as a friend, but deep down inside I feel like she's the one - THE one, you know...? Help please...?
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female
reader, ImBringingRandomBack  +, writes (16 January 2009):
By God!! Thats Complicated. But it will be alright, yeahh?? Just fight back, flirt like hell. Come on fight for her if u love her ok/?!
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