| A
age
26-29,
*
writes: i hate it when people say that you cant be inlove at my age, when the things is i know how very much i am.I have know my present boyfriend scince i was 5 and he thought i was a princess(he told me) and i really liked him, as time when on an we moved through our school i liked him,then,didnt like him and the emotion rollacoaster went on.last year in late january a pressure started to build up, i had a long distance boyfriend whom i didnt really fancy just someone i could say i had, any way the pressure was building up as my birthday party grew nearer and i knew that me and the boy i had liked for a long time , had something going on and that something was going to happen, so me not wanting to hurt anyone broke up with my boyfriend so that i could be single for my birthday.as the day rolled around i was jittery and so excited and me being silly started drinking, enevitably me and this boy kissed practically the whole nigth .the next day i texted him(as we always have since we have had phones) and we arranged a date we went out and it was amazing he was and is perfect.we have been together now for a little over a year and no doubt it has been hard and we have argued but we are mature enough to forgive and move one and fight for the relationship we have both wanted for years.this boy is as faithful and perfect as i could wish for he tells me he loves me and i know he mmeans it, and i tell him i love him too.i love this boy so much and i am sick of adults telling us we are not "in love" because we are too young. i dont understand why people think there is an age for love. i just want to write this so that people can stop instantly judging the situation as that dont always know everything.
View related questions:
broke up, long distance, move on, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (12 March 2013):
Its not a put down - you just dont have the life experiences or the emotional maturity to know what real committed unconditional love is. When you are 30, you will look back and laugh at yourself for thinking this way. Not a guess.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni just want to add that in real life (not on the internet) i dont care what people say its just because people on the internet assume teen realtionship to just be fed with lust and emotion, and only last a few weeks. when in fact i believe that at any age love can happen its easy for me to say that older people dont fall in love but are just to scared of dieing alone, which of coures i dissagree with.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2013): I think my mother said it best to my young sister when she had the same issue.
"If you were so sure you knew what love really meant you wouldn't be upset by people who say you don't. You wouldn't feel the need to prove it to anyone. Your love would be enough and you wouldn't care what others thought."
She's right OP, that's the difference between teen love and adult love. Teens feel the need to prove it, adults just know they're in love and what anyone says doesn't bother them.
When you're 100% sure about something OP you never feel the need to prove anything to anyone so what they say doesn't matter.
Why people say that is two fold OP. First off we were all teens and what you consider "love" changes as you grow older and understand yourself better.
I'm mid 30's now. I was in "love" as a teen too, I had a girlfriend I felt I loved and I did in the way I knew how. But my love for my fiancée now is actually far more real and profound as your version of love will be as you age, whether it's with this guy or not. My love as a teen was different based on my level of maturity, I'd say it was more infatuation than the what I now consider love and yes, it pissed me off that people thought I was incapable of it, I was, it was just different.
Secondly OP the vast majority of teen relationships are based on infatuation. OP I know no one my age that considers how they felt as teens as being love. They thought so at the time until they grew older and got to know what it really meant to them. You will too, your version of love will change as grow older too.
I have to say though OP it is pretty shitty of people to patronizing and judgemental of you in that way. It seems like people forget what it's like to be a teenager. Your emotions and feelings are as real as any of us, you're entitled to have those and entitled to be happy with those. But again, why does it bother you? If you were 100% sure about this you wouldn't feel the need to prove anything to anyone and what they say wouldn't matter.
When my mother said that to my sister I basically just said the same as I'm saying to you. There is no such thing as "real" love, we all love in different ways and we can all have lots of different kinds of love, love for your mother, love for your dog, love of your favourite music, chocolate, love for your favourite smell, your favourite mood, you can feel intense love at a beautiful sunset, and just because your definition changes with age doesn't mean doesn't make you any less capable just because you're younger.
Relax and enjoy your relationship, if there's nothing wrong with it, if you're 100% secure in it then why does it bother you what people think or say?
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 March 2013):
 it can happen. my mom was 16 when she met my dad on a blind date. they married when mom was 19... one big bump in the road at their 25th year... but they worked that out. sadly mom died at 58 and dad mourned heavily.
The issue is in this day and age we have changed and live longer and want more and marriage is more disposable...
but it can happen.
the mature thing to do would be NOT tell folks how you feel and just Show them.... behave as adults and move forward, eventually they will get it.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2013): Have been with my partner since we were 16. We are getting married this year (aged 24), have lived together since we were almost 18 and now own a house together. We have never been the type of couple to be on/off. It is possible to meet the person you want to spend your life with but we are lucky to have grown together and it brought us even closer, rather than create differences and resulting in us drifting apart.We would have got marred at 18 had we not felt judged by people who assume that because you are young you cannot know what love is. But if you look back in time people used to often wed young and it is our current culture to want everything put on hold.Just live each day as it comes, there may be a day one day where you no longer want to be together but there is a chance there might not be - and you spend years together. Don't rush into children, there are so many opportunities out there that its nice to have a companion to share them with. If you're that certain it is love then let people think what they want, but you both I is how you feel and that's all that matters
...............................
|
