A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel I have come to the realization that I'm just the acquaintance to everyone. I'm a nice, respectable guy. I enjoy hanging out with people, and people enjoy hanging out with me. Sure, I'm a bit introverted, but people I know have accepted me for who I am. It just feels like people just know me as a "guy they know". Of course, if we're all together by some luck, it all works out for the most part. Other than that, it just feels like I don't exist. Nobody really seems to consider me, wants to hang out with me, or talk with me. I feel like I have to put all the effort into the mix just to get some response. I know friends go both ways, but I just don't see their side at all. I'm not just talking about one person or group. I've experienced this quite a lot from different people. I just can't ever make that connection. Any advice on my situation? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2012): You say you are introvert, perhaps this is why. People can pick up on that and often quiet or shy people get misunderstood to be sneaky, or give the wrong impression that they don't want to be around that person or people.
I am not saying this is the situation because I don't know you or the people you are with, but I will say that you should observe your behaviour. When talking to people to you fold your arms? Do you avoid eye contact? Do you give one word answers? All this can come across the wrong way and maybe for that reason people don't see you as anything more than an acquaintance.
Try to make the effort with people and they will make it in return. Don't be afraid to open up to the people in your life you have known awhile, and keep communicating with them, eventually a friendship forms. Everybody has a personality, you just need to let yours shine through. Some people will like you and others won't, same way you like some people but not others. That is life and it's short!
So allow yourself to get close to people, you will soon see if they are fake or genuine. True friends are there when you feel low, when your excited and everything is great. Not just for the good times! A true friend is somebody you can call at any hour of the day.
A
male
reader, lovingnerd  +, writes (28 January 2012):
 Hi,
I seem to have a same problem. I discussed this recently with a teacher from my 'professional communication' lecturer from my masters course when she told me that the problem is simply that we aren't much open while talking.
People take this behaviour of ours as egoistic and arrogance, although we aren't even close to that. She asked me to let go my over-consciousness and keep myself in the place of others and think how my behaviour would look like.
Its really hard for myself, but like she promised, I (and all like us) may get over it after a few strenuous efforts. She asked me to visit her every few weeks and talk of my progress. For a beginning, she has asked me to have an eye contact during communicating which I actually can't do properly. So looking into eyes of folks while travelling (but not to the point of staring and scaring them away) for a few weeks might add into the habit of maintaining an eye contact according to her.
I am glad you came up with this question. I too am looking for some answers. Hope mine has made some sense for you.
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A
female
reader, Emily20  +, writes (28 January 2012):
 First of all,is the way u,present yourself to people,thats how there see you,they is these say that is all about the branding,packageing,you have make yourself important,you have make them see you as just the flexing and hanging out type,you have to rebrand yourself,let them know you are not just a friend to flex with and leave,but a friend to be with,sometimes when they come deside not to go out with them,make yourself unique,you have to learn the power of being in charge,you control your friends not them controlling you,become outstanding,you will see how friend will look for you and be with you.
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