A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i donot know how to start really... i am a mom of three children and happily married. my problem can be summed up in a few words. PEOPLE DO NOT SEEM TO LIKE ME. this problem goes way back since my childhood. i barely had friends and the same problem stayed with me even in collage. i have been working for nine years now and whenever i sit down with my colleauges i seem to always have this uneasy feeling around people. also. whenever two people talk discreetly i get this very strong feeling that they are talking about me or that they are making fun of me. this problem is getting into me and every day that passes i feel that the problem must be in me though i try my best always to interact nicely with people. i am actually depressed when it comes to thinking that i am without friends. can u please tell what to do to feel better??? i will really appreciate any good advice.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2011): Are the people around you who you feel don't like you super cool people? Or, are they, for the most part, shallow types? Usually when I get the feeling someone doesn't like me, it's not someone I particularly *want* to like me anyway.
You said you were "happily married" and have three kids and that in of itself is a reason for people to be jealous of you. You also said it happened before when you were in school. Are you pretty? Thin? Intelligent? Those are also reasons.
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (10 February 2011):
 Well you're married, so there's one person that definately likes you! I think there are several things working against you. 1) I think you feel insecure about yourself. This is perfectly normal, we all feel this way from time to time. My feelings of insecurity stem back to my childhood; we were very poor and I was always kind of embarrassed about my situation. But rather than focus on it, I realized my family was very clean, honest and loving. Sometimes you have to weigh out the negative feelings with positive ones and reshift your focus. 2) I think you have difficulty being open and friendly with people and what they sense is your "guard" always being up. When we're self-conscious about ourselves others pick up on our behavior. They may think you are snobbish or that you have nothing interesting to say. This makes it hard for them to get to know you. I can't say this enough: learn to be comfortable in your own skin. It's very sexy, very contageous and draws people to you. I've observed this for many years; some of the weirdest people have tons of friends, why? Because they're comfortable with who they are, and others are attracted to that. I wish you the best.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 February 2011):
 I dont think that the problem is that people dont like you. It sounds to me like you are very paranoid and insecure and you feel that people are talking about you therefore even without you realising you are creating a barrier for those to see and that is why they dont attempt to have a friendship with you.
Try to think positive, realise that you have three children and a husband that think highly of you and accept that you are a good person and that you try and be the best you can be. Therefore try and be happy with your life at the moment.
As for making friends, it seems that you are uneasy in others company, probably steming from your past and how you found it difficult to make friends. Just make simple changes in your life and hopefully things will start to improve. Here are a few tips to get you started:
*First of try and talk to everyone you meet to get practice in. When you see people say hello and if you are in a shop tell them to have a good day, or even make small talk like aw ive been looking for this item for ages, even talk about the weather if it helps. You could also try complimenting your collegues. Next time you see one tell them you really like there top that its really nice and ask them where they got it. Small things like that.
*You need to ensure that you are appraochable to people body language says alot, she when you are talking direct your body to them and also maintain eye contact and always have a friendly smile on your face.
*There are some people out there that may just not want to be a friend or have no time in there lives for friendship this is something that you need to accept and remember that it is probably nothing personal. Therefore if someone doesnt really respond to you dont take it like they are talking about you behind your back.
*Take time out to get to know your collegues. Ask them questions and listen to them. Everyone always needs a person in there life that will listen to them so always make sure that you listen carefully and remember there names.
*Remember always be yourself, dont pretend that you are someone else, it is ok to disagree with someone else over something, it shows that you have your own opinion and that you arent desperate to fit in. Therefore if someone says they like coffee and you dont just say aw you cant stand it for whatever reason. Always be yourself. People will respect you more.
I hope these tips will help you a little bit. Goodluck and all the best in the future.
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A
female
reader, lif3sucks  +, writes (10 February 2011):
 well this is kinda tough cuz you should just be you when your around people, it must really suck not having any friends but your not left out i dont have many friends either its kinda hard to come past good people. if you want to interact with your coworkers try inviting them out for coffee or dinner and let them know you would really like to get to know them and if they turn you down then maybe there not the friend your looking for. i hope this helps out a little :) good luck!
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