A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am feeling low as I'd like to make more friends with people of my own age (35 years old) and meet a man to settle down with, yet despite going out to loads of activities and events there seems to be no-one of my age around. I guess that a vast majority of them are in relationships, bringing up kids, got mortgages (so no money to go out) and of course the economy is bad too so people maybe aren't going out as much.I have been doing loads of college courses but I have found that the few people who do attend are either very young or retired (I reckon it's because they generally have more disposable income at those ages), I belong to an art group (I am the youngest there by 30 years!), same with voluntary work, etc. My work colleagues say how brave I am to get involved in so many activities on my own, but I tell them that if I didn't then I would never go out. Yet, despite all this - nothing!If people of my age go out to meet people (and it seems they don't!), where on earth do they go because I haven't found them yet?!?!I am despairing of on-line dating to meet guys. I'd like to build up a friendship with a guy first, however the way most of them seem to operate is either continual talking on-line with no intention of ever meeting, or they want to rush headlong into a sexual relationship. Most guys (and girls) seem to give it only a few dates, but how can you tell if someone is right for you if you haven't given the friendship chance to grow? Also add to the fact that I have found that most of the men seem to select 35 years old as the upper age limit they will consider dating...I have been trying to think what activities my ex bfs have enjoyed namely going to the pub, playing snooker, or playing golf, but you can't exactly do those things on your own....I feel very lonely and like I don't belong anywhere ...
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female
reader, MHannah74  +, writes (6 July 2011):
I see this post was from February, but I too have the same dilema of having a hard time making friends with people in my age group with common interests/goals/values. All of my long-known friends only interest in socializing involves going to dinners not in my budget or bars/clubs and drinking. Otherwise they are "too busy" with their spouses/children to get together.
Although I am not involved in any of the activities you mentioned, I would like to add that when participating in any activities and hoping to meet friends, most of the people there are already there with their own friends/cliques and therefore do not seem to be open to even interacting with me other than a brief hello. (examples are gym/group exercise classes, dog park, beach, bookstore, etc)
A
female
reader, 40yearsyoung +, writes (10 February 2011):
Are you only interested in guys your own age? How about a range of age? Since you are 35, how about 32-42?
Just a thought. I hope that you don't place too many limiting factors into the search for a soul mate.
Just let me be natural. When love comes, there is nothing that can stop it. So, take it easy, and enjoy the process of being ready to be with one.
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (10 February 2011):
 You have to step back, look at your community and think about the places or activities you've seen others gettig involved with. Tennis?....Golf?....Bowling?...Church?....Gun club?.... Book club?.....Wine tasting?.....Listening to live music?.... Frisbie Golf?....Cycling?....Garden Club?....what do people your age do in your community? You must have some vague ideas. You may need to make friends with a couple of women at your office (if you work) and even if they aren't exactly your age, it'll give you someone to go out with so you can at least be in the places where people tend to congregate.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 February 2011):
 Have you thought on maybe joining a dance class of some sort? That would be a good place to meet some friends, and once you have got to know a few your own age you could arrange nights out and meet single guys that way.
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