A
female
age
41-50,
IamLily
writes:Origional Link: http://www.howtowin.in/free-books/how-to-win-heart-of-your-wife/chapter-06-resolve-conflict-with-your-wife.htmlHere is a real story that I will narrate to you, as it will teach a big lesson and is especially useful for married couples.A discontented couple was always engaged in petty quarrels. For the sake of convenience, we will name the husband Mr Gussalu and the wife, Mrs Jhagdalu. There was no point on which the two agreed and it seemed that both competed against each other in creating tussles-the one who created more troubles won. Furthermore, this was not limited to their home and bedroom; even among friends, they would criticise each other and curse their marriage. All this created a scene in the neighbourhood and they became a subject of laughter for the neighbours. Their stories and discussions became a favourite pastime for the neighbours. Everybody knew their bedroom secrets even. Though they wanted to live their life peacefully, they were unable to do so.Once a learned lady visited the couple's neighbour. Her fame reached Mrs Jhagdalu's ears and she decided to seek her help. So she met this lady and narrated her story, opening up her heart in front of her. The lady thought for a couple of minutes and then went inside the house. She came out with a bottle of medicine and gave it to her, telling her that during every quarrel at home, Mrs Jhagdalu should mix one spoon of the liquid in a half glass of water and fill it in her mouth, close her eyes for two minutes and then spit it in the washbasin. However, she instructed her that her husband should never come to know about the medicine, otherwise the magic of the medicine would not work.Next day, when there was a quarrel between them, Mrs Jhagdalu went into the kitchen and gulped the medicine and closed her eyes for five minutes. The husband kept shouting at her and after a few minutes, Gussalu suddenly stopped. Mrs Jhagdalu spit out the medicine. For Jhagdalu, it was a real magic potion which, had never happened in the past. Within five minutes of her gulping the medicine, Gussalu stopped speaking. It worked and she was thrilled. She performed this task for one month and their quarrels got limited to almost a quarter. The medicine worked magically, but was soon about to finish. So she went back to the learned lady to ask for one more bottle of the medicine.The learned lady took her to the kitchen and took out an empty medicine bottle, poured some salt, sugar and a bit of black pepper in a pan. She boiled it all in water and then chanted, "Peace, peace, peace come to my house" and poured the mixture in the bottle. On this Mrs Jhagdalu asked, "Is it so simple?"The lady then told her that there was no magic in the medicine, but the magic was in her 'silence' that she observed when the quarrel began.Yes, this simple formula of keeping quiet at the time of a quarrel has been tested by many in life. I am one of the most difficult husbands to live with, and my wife lacked that immense patience that she required to bear with me! When we had a very hard time, I started keeping mum and let my wife vent out all her temper till she realised the futility and calmed down.Conflicts are a part and parcel of family life, especially between a husband and wife. They are a symbol of life in the relations; however, if they keep increasing and cross their limits, they can be very dangerous and can destroy the beauty of married life. There are so many sad examples of beautiful couples who have separated due to continuous conflicts. The famous story of Princess Diana and Prince Charles is nothing but a beautiful story of love shattered due to conflicting egos, apart from other extraneous factors.Consider the following methods to pacify the day-to-day conflicts between you and your spouse:Display patience and maintain a cool mind: The best way to avoid or pacify a conflict is to remain quiet during an argument and let the other party vent out her venom. Usually, after a proper explosion, the aggression converts into a peaceful state of mind and in some cases, the person has a feeling of self-realisation or of guilt. So whenever your wife is angry or aggressive, just keep quiet for some time and within minutes, she will calm down. Once the atmosphere is peaceful, you can discuss the matter with each other. Immediate reaction over her anger will further deteriorate the matter and both of you may land up in an unnecessary clash.Understand the signs of discontent as soon as possible: When we notice signs of discontent/frustration/ dissatisfaction in our wife's behaviour we should correct the situation before it takes a serious turn. The conflict will not arise. It is often our inability to understand and respond to the needs of the family which gives rise to a conflict.Origional Link: http://www.howtowin.in/free-books/how-to-win-heart-of-your-wife/chapter-06-resolve-conflict-with-your-wife.html
View related questions:
neighbour Reply to this Article
Share |
You can add your comments or thoughts to this article |
