A
female
age
36-40,
*ngelic08
writes:Dear Aunts,I'm dealing with such a devastating moment now where I have to decide whether to let go or to go on. I've been in a 15 months relationship with my boyfriend whom I met online. The thing is, we live a world apart so we dont meet each other in regular basis. But we do skype and webcammed and there is no way a day go by without us not talking. Last year around April when I resigned from my workplace, he offered me to come to visit him. Well he told me first that he wanted to come and visited me but he changed his mind and instead he offered me to come and he's willing to pay for my ticket to get there. That should be a good thing because I've seen him in cam, and I talk to his family too. I know his sister, his mother, and even his cousin and some of his friends eventhough we didn't really meet in person.Few weeks after he offered me to come, I talked about it to my parents. At first they were excited especially my mother. But few weeks later, they start telling me that I should stop talking to this guy and forget about coming to visit him. I don't know why they changed their mind. They even tried to make me hate this guy by telling this and that about guys from the same country where he lives. I don't care, I love him and I know my parents just want me to stop seeing him. Well I keep bragging this thing about coming and be with him, and one day we argued really bad and it ended up with me hanging up on the phone. My parents got sick. I got worried and tried to talk to them, well eventually they forgave me but then they started telling me that this guy's no good for me while at the same time my boyfriend asked me when I will come. Then around Christmas last year, I got a new job where I work for the government which means I'll have to stay here. I talked about this to my boyfriend and he got upset because it means I am not coming and its gonna be the end of us. I did everything I could to save our relationship because I do love him and I don't wanna lose him. But things just started getting worse because I can't decide whether to leave or to stay. There is no way out, no matter what I do I will hurt someone. Now I start to think that I might not be able to save our relationship anymore.. but this thing brekas my heart into pieces, I even wonder do I have to continue life like this. I've seen how my parents try to control what I do for living. I don't know if I have to stand up and break the cycle they build surround me now, do I have to? I'm 24 and I just want at least they trust me to do things on my own in my lifetime. This guy's been showing me how much he loves me. I asked him to come instead but he said he couldn't spend that much of money to get the ticket for us plus he is going to get a new house for us at the same time. He said that it'd be way cheaper is he's gonna pay for one ticket, which is mine.. What am I supposed to do? Please, advices are greatly appreciated. Thank you very much.
View related questions:
cheap, christmas, cousin, met online, money, workplace Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011): I think HE should be coming over to visit YOU. That way your parents can meet him, and you can spend time together in a safe place.
There's a big unknown in visiting somebody you don't really know-- what if he's not the man he seems to be? The way he's going about it-- requesting that you visit him-- gives him far too much power and puts you in a vulnerable position. Maybe ask him if he'd send two tickets, one for you and one for your mother? That way you have a companion in case things go wrong?
If a guy really and truly loves and cares about you, then he would put in the effort to meet you on your own turf.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): First of all I understand your parent’s point of view, don’t forget you are going to a different country and it is not easy for your parents to let you go for an unknown. My suggestion is ask him to come there and explain him how your parents are concern. if he wants to do it he will believe me I don’t buy this if he can provide you the money for your ticket he can buy one for himself and if this is an excuse, you can offer that if everything goes well and you decide to visit him in his country you will pay for yourself. This way is the safest one and your parents could have chance to meet him in person and maybe they change their mind if he is the right person for you.I do not suggest this but if you think you will regret for years if you do not meet him and if the first option didn’t work out, the second option is to go and see him maybe you found each other totally different and the relationship ends up by itself. In this way you won’t regret and if the relationship gets serious then you can convince your parents easier. Anyhow try to convince your parents before you take any action. Good luck with your decision
...............................
|
