A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have only been exclusive for a short while. Three months. I am 17 and he is 20. I can't help but feel insecure about the relationship lately. I do love him dearly and he tells me he loves me. I do believe him. I can't stop thinking he will/is cheating on me. I get paranoid when he adds girls on Facebook that I know are his type.When he goes out I can't help but wonder if he is flirting with other girls. He has never given me the slightest reason to doubt him.I've never had anyone cheat on me before but I have been left for another girl. I can't see this being the problem. I just think I'm waiting for a breaking point which makes no sense as I don't want this to end and I'm beyond desperate to make it work. I've never talked to him about this as I think it will offend him! I just don't know why I constantly feel this way? I want to be able to break away from this feeling! Why am I always so paranoid?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2011): you have to make that choice. If you stop being paranoid and enjoy being with him, he will enjoy the time with you as well. But if you make it miserable, all you're doing is putting yourself in a worse light. Either way, if he is going to leave you for someone else, he will do it whether you are concerned or worried about it or not.
So live in the present, innocent until proven guilty sort of mindset. It is hart as I struggle with issues similar to this, jealousy, etc. but just take it one day at a time.
A
female
reader, lysha  +, writes (7 April 2011):
 theres two answers to this really...and im only 17 so its up to you to take the advice, but ive had this problem before.in my case i liked the boy so much that iwas just overly worried that i was going to loose him so therefore i became overly paranoid, it wasnt nice and got me down, but in the end i sat myself down and wrote down on my laptop in word, iwrote a list of things that have made me think he might cheat and then a list of things of why he wouldnt cheat, and at the end the only two reasons that were making me think that he would cheat is the adding girls on facebook, which actually wasnt that many and then other people fancying him, so i got myself together and realised he isnt going to cheat and if he does then he isnt worth the hassle,so you could just be liking him too much which causes you to be paranoid:)the other reason is just lack of trust, which would offend your partner, nowadays ijust think well if you dont trust someone and think they are gonna cheat then dont be with them in he fristplace, and if their is lack of trust then their is no point in the relationship because trust is a very big thing!but ithink your problem is the first one, ithink you just like him too much and need to calm down on the crazy thoughts of him cheating, if he hasnt showed any signs, then their shouldnt be any worries:) x
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