A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Aunts and Uncles:I’m in kind of a bad way. For the past year, I’ve been living in a constant state of self-imposed fear and intimidation that has confined me to home, when I really should be out there trying to make a better life for myself. I’m not someone who has a lot of natural confidence, or was brought up in an environment where my self-worth was reaffirmed, but I’ve managed to do OK in spite of this. However, upon being laid off last year, whatever confidence I had plummeted to new lows, and has completely bottomed out in recent months, as I’ve continued to struggle to find work. Many people have stressed to me the importance of professional networking in finding a job, but the prospect of meeting people and “selling” myself to them, or just talking to them normally is terrifying to me. Even meeting new people in casual, informal settings has become something that causes me a great deal of stress/anxiety. The problem is now getting to the point that, on really bad days, I can talk myself out of leaving the house to do something as simple as grocery shopping. I know that what I fear is being rejected, and that the only way to really get over this is to confront it head on. Underlying this is low self-esteem. Does anyone have any advice for me, in terms of how to overcome these issues? I’ve read hundreds of self-help articles about the subject, and would’ve sought out counseling by now if I had insurance. I’m so angry/disappointed in myself for essentially wasting the past year being scared :(
View related questions:
confidence Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2017): I can totally relate to you! I struggle to find myself, where I fit in. I always feel like an outcast, awkward around others, I have no one I feel comfortable with, that I can keep a conversation with. If I don't have to leave the house I won't. I've been like this all my life, my mother was the same way. I've tried meetup.com, meeting other girls on Craigslist, joining a church, reading all the self help books, psychologists, medication, nothing seemed to work. My self worth was nil. Maybe a career change is in order...I think my best move was to get a degree in a career that was in high demand. Being needed, depended on, and respected in my profession has given me a boost in my self worth, my confidence, not to mention being able to provide for myself without the need of another. I may want another and with my more elevated confidence I don't feel like I have to impress like I use to so the pressure has eased. I'm by no means cured of my social fears and anxieties, I still don't leave the house if I don't have to but life is easier. Look for careers you can do an apprenticeship in to avoid school time and costs. That's what I did and it's made my life much better. Just my 2 cents of experience... Much luck to you!!
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 May 2016):
 Don't be angry or disappointed with yourself, you might feel that your fear is irrational, but in your mind it makes sense and that is the one you need to look after. You need to ensure your mental health is looked after. Can you afford to visit a doctor and ask them for help? They can treat anxiety with medication and CBT. I am aware that this can be expensive and is not available for everyone, but it sounds like you really need to get some help.
...............................
|
