A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I were out with his friends the other day, and my boyfriend wanted to show us something on his phone. When he flipped the phone open, there was a picture of a page 3 model which he told us he is using as a screensaver. My boyfriend looked sheepish, embarrassed and blushed alot whilst looking at me intently to see what my reaction would be. I was really thrown by it and looked at him intently because I didn’t know what so say, but eventually I just joked to everyone that I had been ‘mentally scarred’ after seeing all that cleavage! We all had a really good laugh about it, but I think my boyfriend was expecting me to go mad. I was rather shocked (I don’t know why really - after all he is a man), but should I have made a fuss about it? I want to be a cool girlfriend like I believe I was, but at the same time I don’t want to be a doormat and let him get away with things. I was a teeny bit pissed off about it at the time. I am abit of a romanticist and think that surely most guys would want a picture of their hot girlfriend on their phone or am I being unrealistic? I have got a picture of my boyfriend on my phone, but he hasn’t asked for one of me. Am I just over thinking things? I tend to get a bit insecure sometimes like everyone does from time to time. He likes looking at girls (which all guys do alot of the time, I know), sometimes to the point where a couple of times I have felt invisible to him. He says he find things difficult to say so I haven’t really had any compliments, although he sends me the sweetest cards and flowers. My absolute dread would be that I am going out with a male chauvanist or a guy who cheats on me. What do you guys think? I wonder what I am going to find next - heaps of porn!?!?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (9 May 2008):
 It is just a phase in a man's life.
They will get over it and become more matured and in tune with your feelings.
As they grow older , the realization dawns on them.
Most guys goes through that phase in their life.
If you are uncomfortable with it,
tell him and if he loves you ,
he will do away with it.
His eyes may wander from time to time
but you do not have to worry because they have your names written on it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): I am the original poster of the question. Well, it is only the page 3 model that I have seen. I haven't found or seen anything else like porn but I am darn sure there is going to be something floating about. It seems like almost every man in the universe is into it in some level so I think it would be very unusual if nothing else turned up. Thanks for all your replies and I would welcome some guys' advice/opinions!!! Come on guys - don't be shy!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): Truthfully.. that is men for you. I have had a few boyfriends who have page 3 models on their phone. I think you just have to accept that they like that kinda thing. I don't like it either but its like us girls looking at topless muscular men and we all do that. I think with the porn situation most men do look at porn but don't think its cos you boyfriend doesn't find you attractive. It's more because men like to be reassured they are doing sexual things right and also obviously to make themselves arroused. I think aslong as the porn/pictures are not dodgey then don't worry. Maybe even joke about it or look at things with him. When my boyfriend looks at an attractive females I go 'you wish' or go 'yeah she is nice but i bet she's taken'. Things like that will calm you down and make your bf realise you've noticed his wandering eyes.
Hope this helps x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): Hey girl. It is normal for a guy to look at girls, however, I found my husband masterbating to internet porn...ON HIS PHONE, and we have only been married for a year and a half. I'm absolutely broken about it, cause I am a rediculously faithful wife, and good looking, according to every guy I know. Phones now a days are being used as computers. I would typically see a model on my hubbys phone as being pretty harmless, but knowing what I now know, we just arn't sure, are we? I heard many people tell me crap like, Its natural, and healthy, but for who??? Not the other partner! Makes me wonder if any of those people find hurtful images on their partners phones! I learned that the best way to get your lover to understand your feelings toward this is to be a reflection of him. Any sexy guys you would like to look at when you open your phone? I'd put him there, and I'd enjoy it. If he dosnt like it, then he now understands. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): Well girl, I'd say that your man is probably young...therefore HORNY. He is either committed or he isn't. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and we were having problems with him talking to girls on the internet...it was harmless flirting...but that isn't so harmless you know? It hurt my feelings. So ya I pretty much put a stop to that! You are a woman and women have power over men if you are smart about it. Use your keen intellect and do what you think is right. As for a pointer I'd have to say that if it's just a model who cares and even if it is porn...who cares. I mean it's not like those girls are in your neighbor hood waiting for the perfect moment to strike your bf you know? Besides porn star girls are sluts anyways and obviously have no self respect or worth and that is why they pose themselves on the internet. I'd be more concerned about finding him talking to local girls!!!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): I just think it's kind of pathetic for someone his age to have a "pinup" on their phone. I mean, I'd expect that of a 13 year old girl, but not of a man halfway to retirement. He should have been embarrassed.
My boyfriend went to a strip club and got two lap dances. Like you, I wanted to be the cool girlfriend who's down with whatever. But inside, I wasn't cool with it. It was disrespectful to me. But I let it roll. And now I'm pissed at myself for not having stood up for myself. That was pathetic of me - and I should've known better. I gave my bf that inch to disrespect and offend me so, and he took a mile!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): defo! guys cannot live without porn no matter how matured they are they will always act this way. guys think with there penis's but im probably jus saying that cos ive just broken up with a cheater. you should speak 2 him about it, thats the best way. but say it in a jokey way so it dnt get 2 him 2 much. u could say erm "how cums ive got a pic of u on my phone and u got some sl**" or maybe "ur gf pretty" u kno sumfing along dem lines. but if nothing changes u need 2 put ur foot down. and tell him how upset u r about this
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