A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it strange to get in contact with someone you met at work a few months ago and found out they were interested in you but couldn't reciprocate because i was in a relationship at the time?A girl was doing some surveying at my company a couple to few months ago and she kept making eyes at me. This girl was stunning and every time we made eye contact i felt this electric rush. So when the receptionist told me this girl had been asking after me and thought i was hot and wondered if i was single i was beyond chuffed and flattered but i was in a relationship and even though it was very rocky and things weren't really working out obviously i couldn't do anything about this new girl (i even felt guilty about thinking about her).The truth is a am still going out with my current girlfriend but it isn't working out. We keep talking about splitting up but we somehow keep clinging on even though there is nothing there.Another problem is that my gf now never engages in any sort of physical contact. I'm not talking sex (which we have tried and had problems with- i won't go into details) as i am not a shallow person and would be willing to wait as long as it took but she doesn't even want to kiss me (the odd peck on the lips but nothing proper) and she doesn't even like looking me in the eyes. I have been with her nearly 7 months and this has always been the case. I have always felt she never fancied me and that i was just convenient to fill a space in her life as she is very needy. I feel like we were destined to be good friends but she says she will never talk to me again if we split up.But i haven't stopped thinking about this other girl! it is the sexual chemistry i need in my life! I tried to avoid her as long as possible because obviously it was the right thing to do but eventually our paths crossed and we chatted. She told me where she worked and it was nearby and i think she was flirting and said no doubt i'll see you before i leave but it was her last day (she was only there a week) and i didn't see her again. Now i really think it is time for me and my gf to split up and more because i think she is fed up with me but doesn't want to be alone (i can't live like i'm just a background boyfriend anymore) and while i haven't even spoken to this other girl properly for long i was wondering if it was weird or immoral to contact her again? the only way i could do this would be to call or email her place of work if and when my current relationship is officially over. I didn't know if this was a bit strange or stalkerish though? would i scare someone after this long a period by researching her work number/email and contacting her to see how she is and ask if she wants to go out for a coffee or something? i am still very inexperienced with love life and i have no clue if this girl is as amazing as she seems but i have never felt chemistry like this just from looking at someone across the room and i don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
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female
reader, drrbritto  +, writes (29 May 2009):
I can tell according to your letter you are a nice guy but truly very inexperienced as you admit. Your present girl friend, you need to sit down and talk with her. Ask her where does she expect the relationship to go, how does she feel about you, is she in love with you. Tell her what you expect in a relationship for ex. "I like to kiss and hold you, I like for my lady to look me in the eyes, I don't particularly care for a lady that is too needy, like needing to be told excessively that she is pretty, great, and the such. In other words insist that she be honest with you. As far as the girl that you have this chemistry for, it seems that you have missed your opportunity with her, because you apparently didn't speak up when you had the chance. I don't suggest that you contact her, maybe she will contact you eventually. God Bless!
A
male
reader, isdnvn +, writes (28 May 2009):
I think if you are in a committed relationship, you have to be faithful to that. But if you're feeling the way you do now about your girlfriend, regardless of the girl you just got some "electricity" from, then you need to talk to your current gf about whats going on. If she doesn't want to work on that, then let go . If she does , give it another chance and put effort forth so you know that if you do end up breaking up, you gave it all you got.
Quickies are never worth it, ever ever ever.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (27 May 2009):
Well the first thing to do is get single!!
Split up with your girlfriend, deal with the aftermath, get your head straight, get your ex completely fine and out of the picture and THEN and ONLY THEN call up this girl and tell her that you have been thinking about her and you are single and would like to take her out.
Simples!
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Loopy14 +, writes (27 May 2009):
 You have nothing to lose by contacting her. You deserve happiness in your life. I reckon she would be flattered if you went out your way to contact her. I certainly would be. In order to gain in life you have to take risks from time to time. You dont wanna end up kicking yourself down the line and regretting not trying to contact her. At least once you've contacted her you'll know where you stand, if its not good news at least you can then go on to make new connections with other girls.
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