A
female
age
36-40,
*PIE
writes:I have been in a relationship with this man for two and half years. he was married before and up to now he haven't take me to his house or introduce me to his family. he come to my house, he even spend the night at my house, but now am confused if he is really serious with me or he is only trying to use me. I once tried to ask him why and he answered me that he is not ready now for marriage, he even shout at me that why is it that am pushing him, he added that he has reservations for his kids. please advise me what to do Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2014): Thank you so much all for your advises..I will let you know what happened after telling him that its over between us. Once again thank you for your advices.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2014): Park his car and stop using it. It's just his way of giving you an offering to keep one foot in the door. He is living a double-life somewhere else; and he is using you when he feels like it. The whole set-up is strange. Get out of it.
...............................
A
female
reader, EPIE +, writes (24 March 2014):
EPIE is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe go out together with this guy, we spend more of our time together, as am writing am the one using his car, its almost a month since he left his car with me. This is where am confused.
...............................
A
female
reader, EPIE +, writes (24 March 2014):
EPIE is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much my good people...am thinking of leaving him...any good approach I can use? I really feel like his is just using me. and most of the times he don't like to see me with friends.
...............................
A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (22 March 2014):
 From the western cultural perspective it appears that he is hiding something or living a lie. Yet in your culture it is not approved of to live together and is it not custom for him to introduce you to his family only until he is absolutely serious about you?
Now, after 2½ years of this custom he has finally stated; he’s not ready for marriage and worries for his kids. Which in any language means, he’s wasting your time!?
For me regardless of our differential cultures I wonder if he is really hiding something and not trying to use you, but actually; IS USING YOU!
I think it’s time for you to move on and meet someone more serious who is prepared to show you off, introduce you, to their family in a more appropriate timeframe.
Take Care – CAA
...............................
A
female
reader, KimPossiblee  +, writes (21 March 2014):
 He's living the double life. DROPPPPPP HIMMMM. Why would you want to be with someone who leave you confuse and wondering and making you feel like you ARE NOTHING?. If you WERE that special to him you think he would hide you for that long?
Some men when they are in love, THEY LOVE To show their gf's off..I mean from head to toe.
How does he reassure you that he loves you when all he does is spend the time at your place?
Like what do you really know about this man ? Other than him coming over and gets all the pleasure and what not?
LEAVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Good Luck Girl
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 March 2014):
 I'd stop having overnights with him.
I'd stop having sex with him.
I would not cook for him
I would not spend a dime on him.
I'd stop doing ANYTHING for him.
what other than heartache are you getting out of the relationship now?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2014): Sounds like a married-man trying to hide the fact to me.
Do you live within a culture where men dominate over women?
Does he ever take you out? What proof do you have that he is divorced? He could have abandoned his family. People who don't introduce you to their family, are keeping you a secret.
He shouted at you for asking him why? He isn't ready for marriage? That wasn't what you asked him.
You must be extremely naive.
You've put up with this for two years. If we suggest that you tell him to get lost, would you? I doubt it. You'll listen to him first.
Two years down the drain. He's not ready for marriage, and you've never met his family.
What do you think you should do?
...............................
|
