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Over my head or out of my league?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 December 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 10 December 2012)
A male United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Here's my question: Is it ever appropriate between a first and second date (which I asked for) to ask the other person if they've met someone new? She has already rescheduled the second date from a Saturday night to a Tuesday night, and her justification rang true enough. However, since we've been in contact (about a week) the tone of the texting and phone calls have cooled way down. I'm worried that she might have moved on already and is just gonna keep the date out of obligation, since she was in the process of doing that with the last guy when we first talked. I highly suspect that I am now the last guy. Is it okay for me to call her and confirm it and possibly avoid having to twist in the wind another 2 days? Or does that just make something shaky even worse? As you can tell, my interest remains high while hers seems not to. Please advise. In over my head.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (10 December 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI agree with Honeypie.

You have had ONE date.

it's a second date...

you DATE to find someone to be EXCLUSIVE with... so perhaps there is another guy or perhaps something came up.

she rescheduled within the same week so that to me is a good sign...

I would not blow it out of proportion.

go on the date.

have the best time you can

if you have a good time and she seems to be having a good time and you want to see her again... ask about a third date...

and see what happens... if she says yes, then on the third date you can discuss being exclusive...

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (10 December 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntDon't rush things (especially since it will make you look desparate!!!).

Wednesday will be here soon enough.... and then you will have the "answer" to this question....

Good luck....

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (10 December 2012):

Honeypie agony auntI think it's a little too soon to expect exclusivity after 1 date. Could be there is a lot going on in her life (specially with the holidays coming up) so that could be why she is a little more "cool" on the phone. I DO think you are reading more into it then need be.

Personally, I would NEVER date multiple people at the same time, but I know it's kind of the "norm" these days. You seem to be of the same mind as me, and perhaps she ISN'T. Which means there already is a little bit of a disconnect there. Doesn't mean you two can't make it work.

I would go on the date, but take it down a notch. YOU have only had ONE date. If she doesn't seem that interested during the date, then perhaps the best thing is to not ask for a 3rd date. Just be honest with her. Tell her that once you start dating someone you prefer to date one person at a time.

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