A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was just told two days ago by my, now ex-boyfriend, that he doesn't like me like he should. He says that he needs to experience life without me! All of a sudden, me and my son (from a previous relationship) have to move. My "ex" and I were together 4 years!!!!! I didnt see the signs! I am assured it is not someone else. I know he is serious, he says he has changed alot in the past year. I am shocked, stunned and broken. How do I move on? He is allowing me to stay about a month so I can save money to get a place for me and my son. I have begged him. Everybody is shocked, we were so good together!! I know that when he has something in his mind, he is set on it. I feel like this is a bad dream. I need help, I dont know how to move on.!! He says he needs to be independent, I am confused!!
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female
reader, natasia  +, writes (14 April 2008):
 This must have come as a terrible shock - I am so sorry. He sounds very determined, though. I know this is painful, but it sounds to me so like he's met someone else - that might not be true, but people in a happy stable relationship VERY rarely let that go unless it's for something they consider more exciting/better. I can't quite believe he's just doing it because he wants a change.
Hard as it is, you will need to move on, or try to tackle him and get to the bottom of why he really is doing this, to see if there's any chance of salvaging your relationship. But remember this: you won't be alone, because all the time you have your son. I know you'll feel bad about the disruption to your son's life (I am divorced, with a son, so I know what it's like) - but for your son, you're the most important person. It sucks to be just the two of you against the world again, but hopefully you can take comfort from being with your son. Good luck.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (14 April 2008):
 There has to be SOMETHING that happened... even if you're not aware of it. After four years, to boot you out with a month's notice and no indications of trouble? That's cold. There must be something else going on...
How long have you been living with him? And have you been financially contributing to the housing, I mean paying rent or helping with a mortgage? He's "allowing you" to stay another month?
This sounds off, I'd be confused too. There's something more going on, and if I were you, I'd like to know what it is. You might not get an answer, but I'd be getting awfully stubborn about getting to the bottom of it, if only for my peace of mind...
I'm sorry, I don't really have any good ideas on how to help you. Whatever the heck is going on though, my guess is that it doesn't have anything to do with you. This sounds stupid I know, but unless you've been deaf, dumb and blind to him in the last year, you'd have known that things were really going south and have been prepared a bit for this.
Something else has happened with him, and you and your son are the collateral damage. You might check into seeing a lawyer to make sure you are not being taken advantage of financially, if you've been paying towards the mortgage, or if your name is on the lease if it's a rental. I don't think you're looking for a protracted fight, but I wouldn't want to see you lose money because of a whim of his.
All the best.
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