| A
female
,
*ommasarah
writes: I am having a hard time getting over the past. My husband and I had a threesome 2 mons before our wedding. I love him very much, but cannot get over the images of the two of them that evening (the other was a woman). It is hard for me to become sexual with him. What can I do to get over the past? I feel that if he did something like that with me there, why wouldn't he do that when I'm not around? How can I get over this?
View related questions:
threesome, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2005): well basically you shouldnt have had a 3some then without thinking about the mental disfigurements that it would cause you. think next time.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2005): I think your posting is a clear example what couples need to understand about the damaging effects of "threesomes". If they truely value their relationship, then I say-don't do it. It takes a solid, secure relationship to venture into threesomes. A couple needs to discuss it openly and make sure they 'both' want it. But if one person in the relationship is truely apprehensive and uncertain, then be forewarned, the dangers are so great that it's not worth the risk.
If your husband has accepted the fact that this sexual escapade is done and over, then all it might take to fix this situation is a little more time to put the incident aside. But you must come clean about your feelings, with your husband. Be open and honest about this incident. Let him know that you're upset and I'm sure if he loves you very much, he'll give you those extra assurances that he's totally trustworthy. Then see how you feel after a month or so. On the other hand, if he's making a big deal of this 3-some, talking about it all the time, giving you anxious signs he might cheat-then he's a cad and you might need to ask why he is doing this to you? But..if you simply cannot forget the image of him with another woman, then you might need professional intervention in order to save your marriage. This would mean that, by engaging in a threesome, you actually did real harm to the relationship and you might not be able to do the repairs yourselves.
Unfortunately, sometimes these situations can't always be fixed. Sometimes the jealousy is so severe that one person can't ever forget. Or one person is resentful to spend the rest of his/her life having sex with only one person. If this is your husband, you have a problem, girl. The reality is, an ultimate breakup is one of the risks you take when you insert one or more other people into your sex life.
I suggest you think long and hard about counseling so you can become strong enough to put this to rest, once and for all. I wish you both the best of luck and take this, one day at a time. Take care
Hugs, Irish
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2005): I know someone who had a threesum with her boyfriend and another women, and it ended badly, she couldnt get the picture of her boyfriend and another women out of her head, she just played it over and over again in her mind and it destroyed them. I think that if you are not serious about someone then fair enough but if you are then dont share them its to hurt full if you love someone to see them intermit with someone else thats a personal thing!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2005): me and my finace are wanting to try that before we get married. i am afarid of the same thing. but then i remember that i trust him and he won't do it if i really don't want him to. so just talk to your husband about what happened and what you feel and if you trust him and love him, he will be able to reassure you by ya'lls heart-to-heart conversation. good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2005): I don't really know what to answer but to ask yourself if u can trust him. I know it when my girlfriend has something to say to me and i KNOW i can trust her more than anyone else. You should simply ask yourself would you have done the same thing with a man if your threesome was with another man ... it might seem weird but i think if you accepted having a threesome well you told your husband he could do what he did with that woman and so i don't think you have to worry.
Good luck... to bad we can't erase our memory with those special pens like in Men in black...it would be so much easier sometimes... oh well
...............................
|
