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female
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anonymous
writes: I am worried about my 18-year-old son.He is at university, and I am worried about his lack of ambition after he leaves.He is doing very well academically; however, when I asked him what he wants to do when he leaves, he said he wants to work at McDonald's for the rest of his life (he claims it's unstressful!).Me and my husband are so worried about him we have tried to talk to him about it; but he insists it's his life, and we said to him we are only trying to act in his best interests.What can we do?
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female
reader, lisa_01  +, writes (5 April 2006):
 i agree with harshbutfair give him a few more years and he will hate the place, the problem with places like that is it gets boring, he will at some point want to do more with his life and try new things, that kinda job gets repetitive and does'nt go anywhere, but its good experience and when his ready he will presue a new job path.
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female
reader, PrunellaGringepith +, writes (4 April 2006):
 I have to agree with willy here, this is exactly the kind of thing I used to say to my parents when they were pressuring me about choosing a career and worrying about my grades. I would be willing to bet he doesn't actually mean to spend his life at McDonalds, but is contest htere at the moment precisly because it is free of the pressures that parents and schools can put on young people to achieve.
I say relax...maybe he will stay with McDonalds...maybe given a few years he will own a dozen McDonalds franchises in seven countries...maybe you should let him choose...
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2006): Just want to add my comments. As a Mother of child (now 27) who stumbled through a similar problem. As a parent, we want the very best for our children so I know how you are feeling. As parents, we do pin a lot of hopes on their intellect, their talents. It's tough to watch our kid make decisions about their life, when we clearly know they have the abilities to make it better. Your son is still young, he's still uncertain of "where" he wants to go, in life. I feel he's scared and he really cannot deal with stress that getting a foothold into adulthood brings. That's not to say he never will. But for now, he wants that Mcdonald's job because it's familiar, it's comfortable, it's easier. Basically, he needs some guidance and direction, from you and others, you feel can encourage and help him.
I was at my wit's end with my daughter. I realized she was not listening to me (after all, I was just Mom) I got a bit sneaky and without her knowledge, I proactively helped her, behind the scenes. The less she knew I was involved, the better. Firstly, I visited her school and talked to her educators. I asked them to speqk with her and encourage her. Many were most happy to help. I also spoke to one teacher whom my daughter liked and respected. This female teacher who did a amazing job of mentoring and helping her to make some great career choices. Also, I was fortunate enough to find a helpful career counselor who conferred with her, many times about her career options and helped her with job placement. There are usually are programs like this at every university. For now, try to pass this off to the career counselors at his university and his educators-then step away from it and keep your fingers crossed. Who knows? He may listen to them. But if this doesn't work-accept that he may have to stumble through life and working at McDonald's for a few years before he reaches a level of maturity to say to himself--he wants more out of life. He will get there..it will take time. In other words...acceptance may be the key. Acceptance is a hard but worthwhile character trait to cultivate for these times. Good luck, Mom and my best to you and your son.
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (4 April 2006):
 He is, in a roundabout way, telling you to back off because this is his life. Stop worrying about him. The fact he wants to do this now doesnt reflect what he will feel in 12 months, five years or a decade form now. He is most likely doing this to make you stop harrassing him about his *future*. Can you not remember back to the days when next week seemed a long time off, and as for next year........
Leave him be. Did it not occur to you he might be saying this because he is *scared* of what is expected of him. How about you sit down and tell him you are proud of him for getting into uni, and that you will always love and support him no matter what choices he makes in his life? As his rightly says it is his life. Stop trying to control him. He will do his own thing regardless of what you say or do. You need to stop putting pressure on him to be *ambitious* whatever that is. Just be supportive and be there for when he changes his mind.
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male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (4 April 2006):
 He'll soon wake up after a year or two of the misery of it... I wouldn't pressure him too much.
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male
reader, tux  +, writes (4 April 2006):
 McDonalds isnt that bad of a place to work at. but well not exactly a job many parents want to see their kids at the rest of their life. But in my belief, it's best to do a job that you love rather than just working a job because you make money at it. Now if you can get a job you love and make money even better. But he is still young, i'm sure he'd change his mind.. I changed my mind in what i wanted to do in college 4-7 times. Though I never have figured what to do..
But if you really want to act in his best interest, you may have to take pressure off his shoulders in forcing what you feel would be a better choice. Though you can guide him into perhaps taking a look at some careers that may be not stressful and offer a better situation than mcd's that he'd like.. maybe just inform him that he can see a career counselor with no strings attached.
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