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male
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*reg
writes: I just need a little help.My gay ex (21) and I (33) have been split now for two months after five months together. He recently told me that he left me to be with his best friend, who is also 33 and has just left his wife after 10 years. This bloke has two kids. We have talked since the split and met once for a drink. However, he has a nasty habit sometimes of not returning calls or texts when I get in touch. Last week at work he e-mailed me out of the blue asking how I was. I replied but he didn’t get back. I rang him later that night as I was not going to be ignored. Anyway, we talked for half an hour on the phone and he said that he still had feelings for me and that maybe we should meet. He suggested a Saturday night and asked me to call him that afternoon to arrange. I did, but as usual he left his phone go to answer-machine and did not return my calls or texts that day. I texted him later that night asking why he was messing with my emotions but he did not get back. The next day I rang him at work and left a message for him saying I had called. Then I got a text message just saying “Did you call me at work?”. I replied saying “Yes! It seems this is the only way to get hold of you etc”. I think he was annoyed I rang him at work but he has made me so frustrated. He has not been in touch since. I feel really gutted that he has treated me like this and he obviously can’t have many feelings for me. It’s just so shocking after the good chat we had. I know he may feel something and given time he may be in touch but he just won’t explain why he was unable to make it. He did not even have the courtesy to lie or come up with an excuse. I love this boy so much and I am trying to move on. I am texting him but he just won’t get back. I am a lovely, genuine guy who is shocked by my ex’s behaviour. His mum and dad have just split and his grand-dad died over Xmas but he shouldn’t be taking it out on me. He has already told me that things are not working with his best mate. I’m confused. I want to stay on good terms with my ex but it seems he makes all the hard-work.
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female
reader, shania  +, writes (4 April 2006):
 If my memory serves me well,i do recall...answering this problem before.I think you are finding it hard to let go of your ex lover.This man couldn't make it any clearer but yet he gives you a few crumbs,when he says that things are not working properly with his partner.Staying good terms with your ex wouldn't be enough for you because you will always be waiting and hoping that he will change his mind and come running back to you....but im afraid he wont.This cruel,heartless man is playing emotional games with you and you are falling into this never ending spiral of heartache and deceit.Please find the strength to let go and walk away,i know its hard but you know that this friendship or whatever you want to call it is doomed from the start,the way this fella has messed you about...how could you ever trust him again....i couldn't.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2006): Ex means Ex, just leave him alone. You know if he was keen on you he would be in your life right now. He is simply not into you.I know it's hard for you to hear this but he is already giving you all the signs already. Stop chasing him and move on with your life, there is no other option or solution because in a way you are stalking him. Get on with your life. Good luck.
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