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Our sex life seems to have gone out the window...

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 October 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 31 October 2009)
A female Australia age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hello!

So I've been in a relationship with this guy for about 5 months now and its all been going great until the last couple of months. Our sex life seems to of kind of gone out the window. As in we hardly have sex anymore. This makes me confused, are we just past the honeymoon period where we having sex all the time? But at this rate I'm lucky if its twice a week. And I know for a fact that hes a sex fiend!

I asked him about it at the beginning of this trouble and he said it was because he was smoking too much pot and that hes sorry and that he will stop. I said I was there for him etc. So hes stopped he doesnt do it at all but this hasnt changed our sex life.

I asked him was he still attracted to me as he was before and is he still in this relationship. He assured me he was that he still finds me very sexy.

I then got a Urinary tract infection and wasnt allowed to have sex for two weeks. I'm allowed to again now and he didnt even seem that excited by the prospect and we have only had sex once since then. Its been a week.

We practically live at each others houses with only living 5 mins for the other but we seem to be spending less and less time together. Conversation seems to be forced.

Yet he still assures me that he loves me and is very much into me but I'm just getting confused. And I hate feeling this way as I'm very much in love with him.

if it matters for some reason I'm 21 and hes 22.

Any advice?

View related questions: period, sex life

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you for the advice. Though we actually werent sexually active from the get go and dated and waited for a bit but I will take this advice into consideration. I think it is moving more into the attachment phase but will step back give him some space and see how it goes.

Thank you all.

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A female reader, ShadowGoddess231 United States +, writes (30 October 2009):

ShadowGoddess231 agony auntThis happens when you don't have any commitment to the guy like being married to him, so henceforth no strings attached. Stop worrying about the sex department and worry more on the getting to know each other.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2009):

5 months seems a bit early to be losing interest in sex at your age. I'd lean back and give him some space for a while.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009):

Well, some people wait a lot longer to start a sexual relationship with someone and you have been sexually intimate from the get go, so for the first two months it was hot and heavy and now that the newness has worn off for him you guys actually have to talk and get to know each other and you didn't really build a strong foundation of freindship....so your relationship is built on sand.

Take this as an opportunity to slow down a bit and really get to know each other. Relationships have stages and if you are actually now moving into the attachment phase, things are going to be less intense and a little sweeter or you may find you have nothing to talk about and break it off.

I guess it could go either way...so I am not going to tell you that he is losing interest, I don't know that for sure, all I can say is this is typical of a sex first relationship take it as that and work on what you haven't yet, a true friendship.

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