A
female
age
22-25,
*rvn
writes:Hi,I have been with my boyfriend for a year and 2 months, our relationship is good the only thing that kinda sucks is when we do it.. I'm his first but he isnt mine, when we do it he never takes the time to make me wet, he just goes and spit and gets to business, and sometimes it really bothers me, as if he didnt care about how i feel while we do it. Then he takes one or two minutes to finish sometimes even less.. I've never brought up anything about our sex life because he often gets upset and insecure, i have said to use lube but he keeps ignoring it. I don't want to make him feel insecure or anything but how can i talk to him about this issues without making him feel bad?he already feels bad that he comes too fast, a few months ago he got upset because i said it was hurting and he said he wouldnt do it again with me because it doesnt feel good
View related questions:
insecure, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2019): What I would say is "Look, you want me to enjoy sex too, right? Well this is what you need to do to help me enjoy it..."
Good luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2019): Have you heard of pillow talk? I don't think there is a man who doesn't like pillow talk. So talk to him and tell him what to do and when he does it right tell him to keep doing that. Be vocal.
...............................
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (20 February 2019):
 OK this is not a little question. You have stopped sex for a few months? Or did he just threaten? You are his first and all the information he is working from came from porn.
You are going to have to take a leadership role here. You are going to have to show him how you like it. Otherwise he is going to do the same stupid thing to his next girlfriend.
Yes put your foot down. Yes keep your panties up. Until he learns how to be a real lover.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2019): Don't feel embarrassed telling your partner how you like to make love. Foreplay is very important as it helps lubricate us properly so sex doesn't hurt.Teach him how you like to be touched, kissed, played with. He might just been uneduated and think his method is all there is to sex.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2019): Say what? Your relationship is good?????? Your boyfriend doesn’t give a darn about your feelings or doing things that you like and he pouts like a two-year old if you say anything!! You should have this young man wrapped around your little finger for letting him get into your pants, but instead it is quite the opposite. You’re right, you gotta do something about it. Have a serious talk with him. If you’re so inclined, tell him you love him and tell him there is absolutely no reason for him to be insecure with you. Explain what that means to you, and him. Then tell him that a relationship is a two way street, it’s give and take, it’s a partnership, you both try to satisfy each other, you both try to learn and grow together, you both support each other, when you’re having sex both of you can ask the other to do things you like, you respect each others’ wishes. Tell him no matter what quirks he thinks he has, you love him and together you can work it out, but he has to start respecting your wishes.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 February 2019):
 Tell him NO, foreplay first.
No foreplay, no sex.
He spits? to get you sufficiently lubricated? EWWW!
Keep your CLOTHES on until you are rearing to go. Tease him and dare him to get your motor going with only using his hands, and you get to pick WHERE he puts those hands.
The REASON you aren't WET is because you are NOT sexually aroused. which means you shouldn't be having sex with him until yo uare.
I get that you don't want to hurt his feelings and his EGO, but seriously.... You are just supposed to accept crappy sex so his ego won't get hurt?
Why not simply tell him, I think we need to change things up a bit because I'm not really fulfilled sexually as things are. That you WANT BOTH of you to enjoy it and BOTH of you to get GOOD at it.
If he won't listen... then either suck it up, Buttercup or tell him NO sex until he listens, or dump the dude.
NO one is BORN being GREAT at sex. Really, no one. It takes practice, it takes LISTENING and paying attention to your partner to see what they like, react to positively and negatively etc.
And sex isn't just for HIS benefit. It's supposed to be a pleasure for you both. Not just some pump and done thing.
TALK to him and encourage him to try new things with you for BOTH your pleasure and fun.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2019): Maybe there’s too much going on. He maybe anxious about it all himself. While your feeling frustrated why not take control. If it’s his first time he needs to be guided with it all. If you two have a place where you can be alone do this. start off with kissing and kiss for a long time, then you play with him, kiss his neck lick his body give him oral sex. Take your time with him. Then hopefully you don’t have to but if you must tell him to explore your body kissing oral body worship. Guide him with the oral and tell him not to spit. Make it a sensual moment for you both to enjoy for hours or at least an hour. If you want lube get lube and apply it yourself and put on a show for him. Position wise keep it missionary (I find in a relationship it’s the most intense while playing) or go on top of him and take control yourself. Of that fails then either talk to him or dump him he gotta learn one way or another
...............................
|
