A
male
age
36-40,
*rbaseball87
writes:My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 5 years now. I'm turning 22 soon and she just 20 now. Recently, we have undergone some struggles and although we are still very much in love with each other, we are losing our intimacy and I feel less of a connection between us, especially since her childhood best friend just moved in with her in her new place. We started dating when both of us were in high school and then when I left for college we faithfully endured a long distance relationship for two years before she moved to where I was still going to school and started schooling of her own. Her moving closer to me was something we had both been looking forward to for the last two years. Her first year close to me (we lived seperately) went great, we spent almost every night together and our intimacy and connection was stronger than ever before. We were intimate at least 2-3 a week and did everything together. She didn't have many friends up here besides me and has issues with being alone. Therefore, I constantly dismissed my friends when the wanted me to hang out or party because I wanted to spend time with her and make sure she was happy and wasn't lonely, and when I would choose to see my friends she would make me feel guilty. This year, she moved into a new apartment with her childhood best friend. After sleeping together almost every night for the previous year, she all of a sudden decides that we need a couple nights off a week so she can hang out with her friend. I understand and accept this, but I found out that they also sleep in the same bed when I'm not there! The fact that she shares her bed when I'm not there hurts a lot, but when I bring it up she gets upset and we fight. Our sex life has slowed to a crawl also since her friend moved in. Its like she needed to have all of me when she had nobody else, but now that her friend has moved in she doesn't care if i'm there or not because her friend steps in. She says she is still in love with me and we still cuddle and kiss and sweet little things for each other but I miss the closeness and intimacy that we shared through the past year. Its not all about the sex, but its something that I've come to be use to and its all been downhill since her best friend moved in with her. What can I say/do? Am I overreacting about them sleeping together and her avoiding me for her friend when she would get upset with me for doing the same?
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best friend, long distance, moved in, sex life Reply to this Question
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (11 October 2009):
 In that case, no, you should not be upset about the nurturing relationship with her best friend. It is her home. You possibly should work harder to improve your relationship with her by being the best boyfriend you can be.
A
male
reader, crbaseball87 +, writes (10 October 2009):
crbaseball87 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGood point, I'm nearly 100% positive that they are not in a sexual relationship, my girlfriend says she just doesn't like sleeping alone and I said she has issues with being alone, so I'm not worried that they are sleeping together. I have, however, been "cockblocked" for lack of a better word since her female friend moved in. Do I have a right to be upset that she is sharing her bed when I have to sleep alone?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2009): OK, you two are a "couple", someone moves in, she's no longer paying attention to you, and they're sleeping in the same bed while you're not there... she's pulled back from you...Add to this, you changed your activities to "make sure she was happy"- learn this NOW... you're not responsible for making her happy, you caved to stop her from getting mad- not the same thing.She's made a "new" friend, what you doesn't seem to know is are they in a sexual relationship? Is the new chick blocking your access? is she the cause?
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A
male
reader, crbaseball87 +, writes (10 October 2009):
crbaseball87 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe best friend is a she
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (10 October 2009):
This post seems suspicious, but first problematic because the gender of the "best friend" is consistently avoided. If the friend be a he, then I think you're the loser here.
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