A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys. My question will contain sexual references-just a forewarning.So I have been with my girlfriend for over three years now. We are still in love and there are rarely moments we have major arguments. My problem is our sex life.When we first got together it was maybe 5 times a week, sometimes twice or three times a day! Now I know it should slowly dissolve after the so called honeymoon period, but a few years on and its maybe twice a month. We've talked about it together and she says she feels guilty because I have a high sex drive and she doesn't. Obviously I tell her its fine but she knows I don't mean it.Another thing as well, I used to be able to make her "come" and orgasm everytime we had sex, whether that be oral or foreplay, but now since we don't do it as often it takes sometimes an hour or more or not at all, but she gets lots of pleasure during sex and we always both feel satisfied. Its just now she doesn't orgasm as often and I don't know why.Its not an issue for her, as we've talked about it. But I would love some clarity on what it might be.Thanks guys!
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foreplay, orgasm, period, sex drive, sex life Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2011): Thanks for the replies! Chigirl - you say she needs to put the effort in but yet if she isn't that bothered about sex in the first place how can she put more effort in? Like I said, its not a major issue, but can leave me feeling frustrated.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2011): Thanks for the replies! Chigirl - you say she needs to put the effort in but yet if she isn't that bothered about sex in the first place how can she put more effort in? Like I said, its not a major issue, but can leave me feeling frustrated.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (1 June 2011):
 Take this as a lighter side answer. Congratulations you've moved into the fifth year of marriage already. This is what most husbands have to get used to without complaint.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 June 2011):
 I think her lack of interest in more sex, and her lack of orgasms, are the same things. They're not separate issues. After the honeymoon period... as I've been told tings cool down. For some. It hasn't cooled down for you, you're still into sex. But she isn't, so for her it cooled down.
That's my best guess. I guess she never was that interested in sex, but when the relationship was fresh and exciting her sex drive went up. Now it has calmed down to the "usual" level for her. While your usual level is still high.
I don't think there's anything wrong, it's just that you and her aren't on the same level when it comes to sexual drives. She's also lost the spark... but there's nothing you can do about that really. She needs to put effort into the relationship to keep it exciting, and she needs to do so herself, for herself.
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