A
female
 ,
*endyg
writes:Hi there, I am with a man that I love very much and he loves me. I think its started to go wrong all because of the sex. We used to have a wild sex life, sex all the time, watch porn together and pretty much nothing was ruled out, to experiment as a couple. Now the sex is either non existent or I have to iniate it all the time and i feel he couldnt care less either way. I have talked this through with him and he says there isnt a problem, he says he loves me and thats the important part and doesnt feel that he has to jump on me every five minutes. Im starting to feel that we will never get back to having a normal sex life. It does I guess feel like he's being pressured but Ii dont know how to get it back. Once or twice he has said stop putting pressure to perform, but when you feel your man doesn't fancy you it hurts... I could stand there naked and he wouldnt bat an eyelid. I just want to be initmate with him and am now at the stage of being scared to iniate it as it doesnt feel natural like it should do. When we have had sex of late its been great, but i always feel that hes doing it for me.. I dont know how to get him to fancy me anymore... He is otherwise loving and caring and does a lot for me. I just want our sex life back on an even keel and I dont know how to do it... We know each other inside out and it's getting where I think he's bored, even though he says not... How can I get him to want me and make me feel sexually attractive again? Every time i chat about it he just gets defensive, you know like I'm telling him hes crap or something, when what im trying to do is tell him that I love him very much and want the sex back. I find him very sexy and try to tell that because the sex was so good I want more... i just want him to want me and not porn... how do I begin to get us back on track ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2005): Honestly, I don`t think the relationship is ruined..just try to make love instead of just a "quickie" and "make it less wild", more calm for a change and see how things go.
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